There will be a big New Year's Eve Party at the trendy, enjoyable, semi-new restaurant in downtown Lake Jackson known as "The Local." Seating begins at 6:45 pm, entertainment's at 7:30, a champagne toast commences at 9:30 and the party shuts down AT 10 P.M.
I've really gotta get outta this place. Like my late daddy used to say, "If I disappear, don't come lookin' for me."
Brazosport News reader Michael R. in Houston sent us this picture today. He said he took it "from the virtually disease free Montrose zone."
Chris Elam, who blogs over in Ft. Bend Co., reports that Doc Paul's Republican opponent has withdrawn from the 14th Congressional District primary. No explanation why.
[safety for dummies]
Our congressman, US Rep. Ron Paul, R-Brazosport, makes a Top 10 list put together by Al Jazeera.com, coming in at #6 under a heading about Republicans breaking with President Bush over the Iraq War.
They say: "Rep. Ron Paul, a Republican with strong libertarian instincts, has criticized the "neocon global government" and said the U.S. is "ignoring reality in Iraq."
Al Jazeera kinda got it wrong. The Grumpy Gynecologist never had to break from Project Iraq. He was never on board.
I don't get a lot of feedback from the things I write on this blog, but when I reported awhile back that Paul has an opponent in the Republican primary, a military man who I assume is with the Administration's Iraq Project, I received two responses. One, from a regular commenter, said something to the effect that Paul is the best friend the taxpayers have in Washington. Another reader, who sends me private emails, said don't underestimate the crackerjack staff that Paul employs. They get a lot of stuff done for constituents that you never read about in the papers.
Whether Paul's anti-war stance helps or hurts him in the GOP Primary this spring is anyone's guess. I guess.
[aljazeera.com]
To Whom It May Concern:
Could someone pick up the dead possum on the west side of North Yaupon? It's about 20 paces south of the END SCHOOL ZONE sign. Been there about a week now. Thanks!
While clawing his way to the top echelons of the legal profession, Houston attorney John O'Quinn has had to step on a few toes.
A dozen or so years ago, I sat in a Houston courtroom and watched him take Dow Corning to the cleaners for those life-threatening silicone breast implants that later were determined to be harmless.
Dow Corning is just one of the notches on the gunbelt of this silver-tongued devil.
O'Quinn sits on a big pile of money as a result of his legal acumen.
He gives a lot of it away to have buildings named in his honor and he spends a lot of it on extremely expensive collectible cars, including the once-celebrated "Pope-mobile."
Such success comes at a price, though. Some people end up hatin' you.
So I'll venture that it's safe to say a good chunk of the legal profession, or at least that part that calls itself the corporate defense bar, is having a good chuckle today at the latest issue of Forbes magazine (reg. req.) and its story about how O'Quinn got snookered.
"Sucker for a sob story," the mag said.
The story goes that O'Quinn read a letter in the Houston Chronicle by a distraught mother who asked if there was anyone out there who would give her ex-con son a "second chance."
O'Quinn hired him as an errand boy and before long agreed to let the guy "manage" his growing collection of classic automobiles, whose value reached the $100 million mark. (Thank you, Dow-Corning, et al.)
The employee turned out to have a penchant for heroin and whores. By the time it was all over, O'Quinn "was missing 29 cars he thought he had bought and had overpaid by $3 million for the ones he had," Forbes said.
O'Quinn, to his credit, was willing to face the music when Forbes came calling, but you have to chuckle at the story's coda, which has him saying, "It's like what Ronald Reagan said about dealing with the Soviets ... ‘Trust, but verify.'"
O'Quinn, of course, is a Democrat.
It all started with a gourd. A hollowed gourd. In West Africa. An animal skin was stretched tight across its opening. Catgut strings were added.
Thomas Jefferson's slaves played them.
Some called it a banjar. Others called 'em banshaws.
Soon enough, society women were plucking banjos in the late 1800s.
Then Earl Scruggs, Dock Boggs, Steve Martin and yours truly came along.
The whole story is told at the Corcoran Gallery of Art in our nation's capital. (Only $8 to see it all!)
[wp]
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and was later thawed by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! . . . When I see my image on the security camera at the country club, I wonder, are they stealing my soul? I get so upset, I hop out of my Range Rover, and run across the fairway to to the clubhouse, where I get Carlos to make me one of those martinis he's so famous for, to soothe my primitive caveman brain. But whatever world you're from, I do know one thing--in the 20 years from March 22, 1972, when he first ordered that extra nicotine be put into his product, until February 25, 1992, when he issued an interoffice memorandum stopping the addition of that nicotine, my client was legally insane."--Phil Hartman as "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer," "Saturday Night Live," March 23, 1996
"Mr. President, maybe I didn't have the education of a lot of my friends. I was educated in a little school in Searchlight, Nev. We didn't have English class. Maybe my choice of words wasn't perfect. Maybe I should have said we killed the conference report. But the fact is, that is what we had done. People can try to change the words and the meaning of it all they want, but that is what happened. I may not have the ability to express myself like the folks who were educated in all these private schools and fancy schools, but I understand the Senate rules. Everyone knows that cloture was defeated, killed, whatever you want to call it. That means that cloture was defeated and that bill is still before the Senate."--Harry Reid as "Unfrozen Caveman Leader," "U.S. Senate," Dec. 19, 2005
High gas prices cuttin' into your bingo allowance?
Big city ways got ya stressed out?
Consider doing what some Texas ranchers are doing -- going back to the old horse-pulled wagon.
"It saves on fuel costs and is relaxing for them, too!" reports County World News.
[countryworldnews.com]
Rep. Bonnen, D-Angleton, set the Houston Chronicle straight about the $600,000 that petrochemical lobbyists contributed to Texas legislators, who saw fit to kill off various pollution control measures.
The contributions had nothing -- NOTHING! -- to do with the way legislators voted.
(If you concur and you own stock in these petrochemical companies, you should seriously consider DEMANDING that these payments cease and desist in order to maximize shareholder value.)
Bonnen then went on to tell the Houston daily:
"The people (I represent) work in these plants and live here...We understand these things, and we don't think they are dangerous."
If they brought back the old I Love Lucy show, Lucy Ricardo and Ethyl Mertz might have decided to work in a petrochemical plant.
Their respective husbands, of course, Ricky and Fred, would have no knowledge of this. Let's say the girls decided they had to get jobs to save up money for a girls-only vacation to the Catskills, cause they need a break.
OK, they're on the job, not having much of a clue of the hilarity that's about to ensue. Ethyl complains she's cold. Lucy says, "Let's just turn up the heat." She starts twisting dials and knobs. Ethyl puts on a stocking cap and a pair of mittens.
Suddenly, the the Halo fire extinquishing system is activated!
OH NO!!
The employees manual says there's an ozone depleting substance in the Halo system.
OH NO!!!
But wait! Another manual states it's not a "reportable emissions event!"
Whew. THAT was a close one!!
But then their supervisor walks in, and he looks remarkably like Mr. Mooney!!
The Mooney lookalike is NOT pleased.
He's going to report the incident to the state environmental authorities.
But FIRST, they better get outta this control room!
Boy, just wait til Ricky and Fred find out about THIS ONE!!!
[equistar air emissions event rept.]
Dow Chemical in LaPorte had an amazing record: no "fugitive emissions" in two whole years!
Uh, hold the phone, Martha.
When you lie, you have to make it a half-ass plausible lie. It's like when you get pulled over for drinkin' and driving'. "Have you had anything to drink tonight?"
You don't say "One beer, officer." You say, "Just a couple beers officer."
See, two beers in a plausible lie. One beer isn't. That's why everyone always says two beers. Of course, it doesn't work, but it's much more plausible that saying one beer.
Same with Dow. They should have reported some fugitive emissions. It would have been more plausible than no fugitive emissions.
Why?
Because all plants have some fugitive emissions. It's just the nature of the beast. All those valves and fittings. They leak. If you're gonna lie, you have know how to lie within the realm of possibility, not outside the realm of possibility. One beer? BULLCRAP!
[khou.com]
Scanning the airwaves ...
New Arbitron ratings are out. The thing that strike me (again) is Houston-Galveston isn't a C&W market anymore. The highest-rated kicker station remains in 6th place (KILT-FM) ... The two top spots remain urban formats (KBBX-FM "The Box" at No. 1 and KMJQ-FM "Magic 102" at #2, both Radio One properties) ... KLOL-FM, the venerable rocker turned Latin-urban-vato, is bringing in a new program director from El Paso to pump up the volume and hopefully knock off KLTN-FM (#3 overall) from its top perch among Latino stations ... The news/talk experiment on the FM dial, KFNC-FM, can't find traction, coming in dead last among rated stations, suggesting Jim Pruett's audience has passed him by ... Same can be said for ESPN sports talk heavyweight KBME-FM, which still trails the pride of Baytown, KWWJ-AM's "Keep Walking With Jesus" (1360 on your AM dial) and its special uplifting brand of gospel... A majority of Astros fans seem to disapprove of Alan Ashby's removal from the team's radio broadcasts (it's 70-30 against, says the afteroon crew on Sportsradio610) ... Ashby did a phone interview this morning with 610's John Granato and Richard Justice, saying he might have lobbied too aggressively for the play-by-play job. Ash must have pounded the table. Not wise if you're not signing the paychecks. Just ask Roger Clemens.
[radi&records/arbitron ratings]
We ought to get an idea of how the folks feel about the Iraq War next year by looking at the Republican congressional primary race right here in our own backyard.
Running for re-election, of course, is U.S. Rep. Ron Paul, Republican from Brazosport.
We jokingly refer to Paul as "the Grumpy Gynecologist" since he votes no a lot on just about everything -- all on constitutional grounds, of course.
But what's interested us in the last few years is the doc's unapologetic stance against the U.S. invasion/occupation/liberation of Iraq. He's been against it from the start.
We may be wrong, but we don't get the idea that his constituents, at least in this corner of his district, are necessarily anti-war. You see a lot of yellow ribbons on vehicles around here. Catch my drift?
But maybe we're mistaken. There might be a "Silent Majority" among us who are sick and tired of the whole nation-building project going on in the Middle East.
Alright, well, now there's one way to find out which way the wind's blowing.
Rep. Paul, described by his own spokesman as an "anti-war Libertarian" in Cragg Hines' latest column in the Houston Daily, has an official opponent in the Republican Primary for the 14th Congressional District.
(Dr. Paul ran for president once on the Libertarian Party ticket, after serving in Congress in the '70s & '80s, then returned to Congress in 1997 as a Republican.)
Paul's new opponent for re-election is Len Waterworth.
Waterworth lists his occupation as "consulting engineer" but he's a lot more than that, judging from we've been able to glean.
Waterworth is the former district engineer for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Galveston District. Before that he worked at The Pentagon. And he also commanded the 91st Battallion of the First Cavalry Division at Fort Hood for a couple years.
We're guessing he's in favor of the current Iraq project.
The only picture of him we could find on Google shows him in uniform (with many medals on chest) addressing a crowd gathered at the ribbon-cutting ceremony to open the J.J. Mayes Wildlife Trace, a new birding trail at the Wallisville Project, back in May 2003. (The picture's pretty bad so we didn't post it.)
In his more recent civilian life, Waterworth serves on the board of directors of the Bayou Preservation Association and on the Greater Houston Partnership's flood control committee.
So, if you want contrasting candidates, and perhaps a good idea of how we here on the Petrochemical Coast view the War in Iraq, we've got it right here in the 14th District.
[houston.org]
[bayou preservation]
[portofbeaumont.com (PDF file)]
Some Astros fans don't like the move to cut former catcher Alan Ashby from the team's radio broadcasts, but one said he understands the reasoning of team owner Drayton McLane and General Manager Tim Purpura. He explained on the team's Fan Forum:Drayton and Purpura were feeling the pressure about improving the team and felt this was one of the priorities.
The two replacements are from the minors. Purpura is sticking to his rule-let the rookies play for experience.
That old peanut vender guy has been around a while, I guess he is next. I hear vender #132 in AAA is due for a shot this year in the pros.
Like President Bush might say, "It's all part of the strategery."
The Good Book says Man has dominion over animals, but KSclenker, who's among my small roll call of Brazoria County (TX) bloggers, brings up a point that can't be emphasized enough: Screwing animals is just plain wrong
Here, here.
No two ways about it. Even in Brazoria County. Even on Brokeback Mountain. It's just plain wrong. So just say no, ya hear? 'preciate it.
[kschlenker.com]
With employees fleeing as fast as they can (or being thrown overboard and fed to the sharks), the Houston daily has holes to fill.
Hence, the Houston Chronicle has placed an ad with a publication put out by the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism.
It states: Staff Writers, City Desk, Various Positions, Houston Chronicle. A.J. Liebling said journalists are in the business of reporting with their feet. The Houston Chronicle, one of the nation's largest newspapers, is looking for reporters who aren’t afraid to get out of the office, poke around in the world and uncover stories that make a difference in the lives of our readers. We seek energetic self-starters with a knack for generating enterprise stories and watchdog journalism — all in a city that is among the best news towns in the country. In 2005 alone, Houston was threatened by two hurricanes, was the site of one of the largest industrial explosions in U.S. history, and had a team go to the World Series. Qualifications: Applicants should have a track record of writing news for print and the Web, five years of metro daily experience and an insatiable curiosity. Spanish or Vietnamese skills are a plus. Send cover letter, resume and five clips to Veronica Flores, city editor, Houston Chronicle, 801 Texas Ave., Houston, Texas, 77002. If you are interested in asking a fellow Columbia grad questions about the Chronicle call or e-mail Dina Cappiello, the paper's environment writer at 713-362-7860 or dina.cappiello@chron.com (Updated Nov. 21)
In the interest of full disclosure, we feel compelled to warn any job applicants that the city editor listed above is on her way out, according to one of our impeccable sources. Apparently her tenure in the newsroom captain's chair has sparked a near mutiny among the rank 'n file.
Our souce says:
This woman was so bad she didn't even know the name of the mayor or county judge after she had been working here nearly a year as assistant national editor. So Cohen makes her metro editor, and she was entirely incompetent...
The Houston daily's city columnist, Rick Casey, has ridden to the rescue of the Clute daily for its role in the Christmas-time hoodwinkery that's been been going on.
Casey doesn't take the Clute daily to task, though. He essentially gives them a pat on the back for the whole mess.
Let's recap: "The Facts" for years published stories at Christmas-time that were supplied by Childrens Protective Services to raise money for kids in foster care. A TV reporter, Dan Lauck of Channel 11, found out one story, and possibly many others, were phony. The paper stopped publishing the stories and then ran its own story explaining how the hoodwinkery came to pass.
We here at The Brazosport News took the local paper to task, saying they shouldn't have ceded control of their editorial pages to a government agency even if it was for a good cause, and that the proper way to handle the job was to assign an employee to put the stories together.
A guy at The Poynter Institute, a journalism think tank, essentially agreed with us.
And Bill Cornwell, the publisher of the local paper, "The Facts," essentially agreed with us when he told Rick Casey, "We didn't run as tight a ship as we should have journalistically."
Cornwell, predictably, went to the "we have a small staff" card in trying to rationalize why the local paper would fob off the grunt work involved in pulling off the Christmas-time charity stories series (which have been going on more 20 years).
That's what the newspapers always do when they come up short; they just say, "We have a small staff." (I think that's why the Chron isn't covering the war in Iraq, but I haven't heard officially yet after asking their reader representative why they didn't have a reporter over there.)
Anyhow, Casey essentially lauds "The Facts" for coming clean, even though it took a TV reporter to really get the ball rolling in the first place.
Then he wraps it all up by referring to "chest-beating bloggers."
I don't know if that's meant for me, but if it is, he can kiss both sides of my dimpled ass.
We make no apologies for saying "The Facts" screwed up by turning over their news pages to a government agency when they should have been writing these stories themselves. I don't care how big their staff is. They could have hired somebody on a one or two month contract to do it, and probably gotten away with paying them minimum wage for the task. Instead, they decided to do it the real cheap way. As a result, the newspaper and the charity program and CPS have suffered for it.
[chron.com]
Scott Henson, who writes the Grits For Breakfast blog up at Capital City, spilled the beans about the American Civil Liberties Union war on Christmas. Look for him on O'Reilly later this week.
"Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk,
At our Christmas party.
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog..."
The opening lines to Robert Earl Keen's "Merry Christmas from the Family" revive fond holiday memories for many of our readers who have voted the tune "Best Christmas Song" in Banjo's Mini Poll.
This may strike some as blasphemous as Christmas ostensibly is a celebration of the birth of Jesus H. Christ; we prefer to think it shows our readers have a well-developed sense of humor, not that they are secular nihilists.
Yes, there is a lot of drinking going on at Christmas time. Just take it easy, people. Don't overdo it. And if you do accidentally overindulge, whatever you do, stay away from the telephone. And out of the front yard. Cause we assume you live in a decent neighborhood.
Here are the Christmas song poll numbers:
Merry Christmas From The Family 25%
Silent Night 19%
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas 11%
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer 10%
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year 10%
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 9%
You Ain't Gettin' Shit for Christmas 7%
Go Tell It On The Mountain 4%
Please Come Home For Christmas 4%
We Wish You A Merry Christmas 1%
(91 votes were cast)
Our new poll is self-explanatory.
USA Today says Houston made the NFL's worst number one draft pick last spring when it chose DT Travis Johnson:
For a team with so many other problems, a defensive lineman who has trouble staying on the field has turned out to be a remarkable waste.
Hit the first-round jackpot with OLB Demarcus Ware and DE Marcus Spears, who are already difference-makers. Fourth-round picks RB Marion Barber III and DE Chris Canty have displayed breakout potential while earning significant snaps, and sixth-round T Rob Petitti has started every game despite some pass blocking issues.
A former Houston Chronicle news gal, Jennifer Sizemore, has been named the head of MSNBC.COM.
Sizemore was a deputy managing editor at the Houston daily before she decamped to the brighter lights of MSNBC.
One can hardly blame her for leaving the Chron in order to land such a prestigious position. She probably passes Keith Olbermann in the hallway every once in while, which must be a bigger thrill than seeing Jeff Cohen at the water cooler.
Sizemore's defection, however, again raises the recurring question of whether there's a brain drain going on at the Houston daily. Every once in a while, we run across the names of former Chron employees and realize that lots of people are movin' on, if not to necessarily greener pastures, then to pastures that are at least different.
In the old days, people tended to go to work at the Chron and stay there until they retired. That was definitely true in the good old days of ownership by the Houston Endowment, the non-profit trust created upon the death of one Jesse Jones. Chron employees got hefty Christmas bonuses every year and regular annual raises, whether they were productive employees or just sat around playing solitaire on the computer all afternoon. Everyone was fat 'n happy.
Things gradually changed when the Heart Corporation took over, but it took a long time for Hearst to finally assert a tidal shift to the Chron culture. This, I'm pretty sure, coincided with the new economic realities of the newsprint industry (lowering profit margins.) Now, those changes are in full swing, and as a result, people don't stay there as long as they once did.
That's not necessarily bad. And not necessarily good. It depends on who's moving and who's staying, and passing judgment on whether the overall talent level at the newspaper is slowly leaking air is a tricky business, at best.
There's no doubt, though, that people are leaving the Good Ship Chronicle, some willingly and some via layoffs.
Casual persual of the Web informs us that former Chronicle photographer Smiley Poole, a crackerjack shooter if there ever was one, recently won an award for a picture he took of Pope John Paul's body being carried by weeping Catholics. He took the photo for the Dallas Morning News, his new employer.
Then we noticed that former Chron staffer Evan Moore, who used to crank out semi-annual magnum opuses that sometimes won awards for the Houston daily, has taken over ownership of the Bosque County News, a weekly, along with his wife, Diana Hunt Moore, another former Chron staffer who took a detour with the Dallas paper before settling down to rural weekly journalism.
Let's see, who else .... oh, then there's veteran crime reporter S.K. Bardwell, who left the Chron to help her hubby run the new Angleton Observer here in Brazoria County ... and Wendy Benjamison, who once held the title of city editor and assistant managaging editor/Sunday, we noticed is now cranking out copy for the Associated Press in Houston ... Then, of course, Lucas Wall, the Chron's former transportation writer, who went to the Boston Globe in a case of jumping from the frying pan and into the fire ... and ... as reported by blogHouston, asst. city editor Raequel "Roxie" Roberts recently fled 801 Texas to return to her previous employer, Metro, to work as a flak.
There's bound to be more. All I know is, there are a lot of new bylines in the paper these days and rumor has it they belong, by and large, to writers who have little experience and, therefore, are willing to work for modest wages. This, obviously, is a byproduct of the lowering economic prospects of the newspaper industry in a tough advertising market.
It's good to have young, eager employees on your newspaper staff, people who have not been jaded and don't roll their eyes when they're ordered off on some wild goose-chase assignment.
But it's also good to have employees on your newspaper staff who know a thing or two about the city of Houston, the state of Texas and the difference between a city manager form of governmnet and a strong mayor form of government.
What do you think?
Click here to play Kinky's TV ads on your computer. (He's a write-in candidate for Texas Governor, in case you hadn't heard.)
They'll be airing on the following TV shows, the campaign said:
Ellen
Oprah
Meet the Press
Face the Nation
Nightline
Today Show
GMA
Saturday Night Live
Early and late news shows
Jimmy Kimmel
Letterman
Leno
Entertainment Tonight
Tyra Banks (yeah, baby!)
Daytime soaps
Dr. Phil
Friends
CSI
Simpsons
King of the Hill
Everybody Loves Raymond
Frasier
Seinfeld
Fear Factor
Bernie Mac
That 70s Show
Malcolm in the Middle
CNN Headline News
What glaring omission do you see in the TV lineup? Yep, no Fox News Channel. Not The Kinkster's "base," I guess.
From this corner, the hiring of Dan Reeves as a consultant to the Houston Texans is a little confusing because, as Texans owner Bob McNair said today, he will not be asked to evaulate either General Manager Charley Casserly or Head Coach Dom Capers.
Could it be one of those George W. Bush-type moves? Bush hired Cheney to find a vice president and then decided Cheney was the man for job. Bush tells Harriett Miers to look at Supreme Court candidates then decides she has Supreme Court Justice written all over her. Catch my drift?
On the radio, John McClain, who covers the Texans for the Houston daily, stated he didn't agree with the move and just couldn't understand it.
In his newspaper story online, he didn't give his opinion, which would be "unethical." Allegedly.
[chron.com]
The Christmas charity mess involving the local paper in Clute has gone national.
(Recap: "The Facts" printed a bunch of Christmas-time sob stories supplied by the local Childrens Protective Services. Dan Lauck of Channell 11 in Houston found out they were phony. "The Facts" blamed CPS and discontinued its involvement in the charity.)
Here's the upshot, from a journalistic ethics point of view, as quoted by The Associate Press:
Bob Steele, a former TV news director who teaches ethics at the Poynter Institute, a school for journalists, said the problem could have been averted if the profiles had been done by reporters rather than caseworkers.
"The integrity of the paper is damaged, the good cause that was intended is eroded and those in need are then not served as they should be," Steele said.
You need a scorecard sometimes.
At least in Freeport you do.
For instance, there's a Citizens For Freeport commmittee. And there's a Real Citizens For Freeport committee.
Who do ya trust?
If you're an average citizen, you look to your local paper for guidance. But sometimes even the local community newspaper gets hoodwinked. Yes, hoodwinked, I say!
During the last election, the citizenry was asked whether it wanted to abolish the town's Economic Development Commission, the organization behind the city's eminent domain land-grab of harborfront property for a proposed fancy yacht club.
The EDC survived the vote, barely.
Democracy is a lovely thing for community newspapers cause candidates and special interest groups pay for big, full-page advertisements.
Such was the case for The Sentinel, the giveaway weekly based in Freeport, which needs the ad revenue. They even appreciate it when local readers pitch in to help distribute the paper, one of the headaches of newsprint publications that have no Web presence.
So when Freeport Mayor Jim Phillips was driving around town distributing big bundles of The Sentinel, newspaper publisher Wendi Ross felt compelled to put Hizzoner's picture in the paper.
Good publicity for the paper, one supposes, showing the town that The Sentinel is so essential that even THE MAYOR will put in some free sweat equity to distribute the publication.
What the mayor didn't tell The Sentinel publisher when he picked up the papers was that his friends and allies then inserted an additonal advertising flyer into the newspaper that spoke in favor of keeping the pro-eminent-domain Economic Development Commission.
Dirty pool? Maybe.
But not necessarily illegal. Apparently.
[local clute paper]
Freeport's looking for a new police chief, but if you want to be considered for the position you have to run 1.5 miles in at least 16 minutes and 28 seconds.
And run 300 yards within 70 seconds.
Moreover, you have to do "leg presses, sit-ups and push-ups," the town's city manager told the local paper today.
No word on how many are required.
Twenty-five leg presses, 30 sit-ups and 40 pushups sound reasonable, even though I'm not entirely sure what a "leg press" is.
I'd thrown in a high-jump requirement of at least 4-feet for those times when the chief has to crash through a plate glass window, roll on the floor and come up in a proper shooting position.
You never know.
[the facts]
Drayton McLane and his Houston Astros are Numero Uno in Houston as far as the fans are concerned, according to an ESPN survey of sports fans.
Some 30,000 fans from around the country were asked questions about their respective pro sports teams in 8 categories.
McLane whomped Bob McNair and his Houston Texans and Les Alexander and his Houston Rockets in every category except one.
The one exception was in the category entitled "Championships: titles already won or expected soon."
Rockets fans expected more in the way of championships than Astros fans, with Texans fans not really expecting much. The Texans, therefore, are meeting their fans expectations and are due congratulations. Or not.
Regarding the ownership category, wherein fans were asked to rank their pro sports owners for honesty and loyalty to players and city, McLane/Astros scored 2nd in the whole country, Alexander/Rockets 13th and McNair/Texans 42nd.
One can't help but wonder if the ownership survey would be different in light of McLane's decision yesterday not to grant salary arbitration to Roger Clemens, which greatly lessens the chances he'll return to the team.
Check back on next year's survey for the answer to that question.
In the big picture, where all pro sports teams (except pro hockey) were ranked, McLane/Astros ranked 11th, Alexander/Rockets ranked 21st and McNair/Texans ranked 79th.
The San Antonio Spurs finished first in the overall rankings by scoring tops in Fan Relations (ease of access to players, coaches & management), Players (effort on the field; likability off it) and Ownership.
The Dallas Mavericks finished 15th, the Dallas Cowboys 27th and the Texas Rangers 41st; Mavs owner Mark Cuban ranked 22nd, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones 24th and Rangers owner Tom Hicks 60th (thanks to the failed A-Rod experiment, no doubt) in the ownership category.
Who's the worst team owner in professional sports? Tom Benson of the troubled New Orleans Saints.
[espn/sportsnation]
Whatever gets you through the night 'salright, 'salright
It's your money or life 'salright, 'salright
Don't need a sword to cut through flowers oh no, oh no
Whatever gets you through your life 'salright, 'salright
Do it wrong or do it right 'salright, 'salright
Don't need a watch to waste your time oh no, oh no
Whatever gets you to the light 'salright, 'salright
Out the blue or out of sight 'salright, 'salright
Don't need a gun to blow your mind oh no, oh no
John Lennon
[wiki]
Rorschach, a blogger in neighboring Fort Bend County, wants to know why it took the the FB Sheriff's Office 24 hours to issue an amber alert for a 12-year-old who's now missing.
He goes to the trouble to ask for an answer from the high sheriff, who says the answer is "simple": she was first reported as a runaway.
Rorschach wonders what age a child must be to trigger an amber alert, whether reported to be a runaway or not.
High sheriff doesn't want to talk anymore cause case is "under investigation."
Rorschach wonders if missing 12-year-old's race has anything to do with allegedly tardy police response.
Channel 11 picks up story, says child's stepfather is "person of interest."
BASF in Freeport grabbed the honors of registering the first emissions event of the Brazoria County Holiday Season with a PSA valve failure in Syngas unit that caused the C-20 compressor to shutdown and upset the OXO process.
Contaminents released: Butyraldehyde,Carbon Monoxide, Isobutyraldehyde, Propane and Propylene.
Idea for the petrochemical industry: adorn your towers, vessels and such in holiday lighting, forming giant Christmas trees, giant reindeer and brightly colored holiday packages for passing motorists to enjoy during the "holiday" season.
With Christmas "under attack," as they say on a certain cable tv news channel, it is, verily, the meet & right thing to do.
[report #68772]
We are moved to make one final change to the current Banjo's Mini Poll.
"The Twelve Days of Christmas" is being taken off our list of choices for best Christmas song (mainly cause nobody's voted for it yet) and replaced with "Please Come Home for Christmas," which today was the subject of Slampo's Place.
Slampo enlightened us with the news that the song, covered pallidly by The Eagles after its original 1950s-era release, was written by Charles Brown, a one-time resident of Texas City. The song brings back many memories for the Slampmeister and perhaps many of you. It therefore has been added to the poll. You may now vote an additional time if you so wish.
An account has been established at the British Petroleum Credit Union for Brazoria County Deputy Jason Alexander Oliff, who was killed in the line of duty Monday while directing traffic.
If you want to make a donation, you may go the BP Credit Union, located on FM 2004 in front of the Innovene Plant (phone: 281-372-1171), and the tellers will advise you how to do it. The chances of an explosion occurring during your visit are considered remote, a source said.
Visitation for Oliff will be Thursday, Dec. 8, from 5:30pm - 9 pm at
Jeters Funeral Home, 311 N. Friendswood Drive, in Pearland. Services will be 10 a.m. on Friday, Dec. 9, at First United Methodist Church, 611 South Street, in Alvin. Burial will be at the Confederate Cemetery, F.M. 517 at Hwy. 35 in Alvin.
The minor league manager trotted from his folding chair beside the dugout to the mound to talk to a pitcher who was young enough to be his grandson, and who was having problems getting the ball over the plate.
"Do you know why I'm here, young man?" the manager said. "To tell you this: Babe Ruth is dead! Quit trying to pitch around this guy. So throw strikes!"
If you've been following the current poll on favorite Christmas songs, you may have noticed that "Deck the Halls" and "12 Days of Christmas" were the only two songs to receive ZERO votes out of 50 so far.
Robert Earl Keen's tune, "Merry Christmas From The Family," has been leading the poll, followed by the all-time classic, "Silent Night."
To make it more interesting, I've decided to switch horses in mid-stream and remove "Deck the Halls" from the list of choices and replace it with "You Ain't Gettin' Shit for Christmas," an alt-Xmas classic.
Accordingly, you will be allowed to cast a 2nd vote in the poll without any repercussions from our Poll Administrator.
I think I'll leave this poll up until at least Dec. 25.
Mainly because I can't think of another poll question to replace it. As always, I reserve the right to change my mind.
That is all.
Washington Post media reporter Howard Kurtz did a live online Q&A today. A lot of people asked him about Katie Couric, former cheerleader and possible heir to the throne of Dan Rather. A lesser number asked questions about blogs. Here's what he said about the latter:
Raleigh, N.C.: What do you think of the efforts to regulate blogs? Should they be forced to disclose payments from campaigns? Should they be regulated further?
Howard Kurtz: I think as a matter of fairness and ethics that blogs should disclose payments from campaigns. And obviously campaaigns are required to disclose their expenditures in FEC reports. But I'm not sure heavy government regulation of individuals posting their opinions online is a great idea.
Toronto, Ontario: My question goes back to last week when Congressman Murtha blogged on the Huffington Post. Only a year ago I would have expected his comment to come in an editorial in The Post or the NYT. Is this an indicator of the credibility that the blogs are gaining? Do you think we will see more "mainstream" figures using blogs as means to address the nation?
Howard Kurtz: Sure, why not? It's quick, it gets widely picked up, and you don't have to wait a couple of days for some op-ed editor to decide whether you're worthy of publication.
Gainesville, Fla.: Hi Howard, I think it is interesting that so many MSM journalists are blogging or planning to blog regularly. Are the popular blog sites cutting into their readership? I love The Washington Post and NY Times but I am now loving these blog sites too. I feel they really are making a contribution to our political education. And the outrageous allegations and headlines sometimes provide lots of laughs!
Howard Kurtz: Actually, we're just trying to look cool.
The Fat Guy brings up a question that confronts every blogger sooner or later.
That is, Why in the HELL am I doing this? Why do I WANT to do this? I don't HAVE to do this. Maybe I WON'T do this.
He writes: I can’t find anything to write about that hasn’t been covered by 500,000 people already, and I’m not the least bit motivated to go look for something. Worse than that, though, is that I find the overwhelming majority of blogs that I read uninteresting. Everybody talks about the same damn dumb thing...
Bloggerville is changing. The newest wrinkle has the mainstream media fully embracing the medium. Here on The Petrochemical Coast, the Houston Chronicle regularly links to local blogs under the heading of What they're saying around town."
I made the list once last week. Today, they linked to Slampo's Place.
This is somewhat surprising, and amusing, inasmuch as Slampo and I have a history at that newspaper (sorry if you didn't want to be "outed," Slampo).
Be that as it may, there's a certain level of validation that comes with a link in the high 'n mighty Chron, whether you once worked there or you didn't.
For those who never worked in journalism, the temptation may be to think, "Golly, professional journalists really like my writing!"
And there would seem to be some truth in that.
You have to ask, though, will they link to your post if you rip 'em a good one?
The link to Slampo today, for instance, may have been included since he made a flattering allusion to one of their reporters (or was that Slampo's patented sarcasm?) Slampo at times artfully eviscerates the Chron and so far I haven't noticed any links to those posts.
By the same token, Kevin Whited and Anne Linehan at BlogHouston take a fine tooth comb to the Houston daily on a regular basis and, I may be wrong, but I haven't noticed chron.com linking to any of their more pointed pieces while throwing a link to some of their less strident posts.
So is this the local mainstream media's attempt to co-opt Bloggerville? Is there a subtle, unspoken message being sent that says, "We will deign to link to you Pajama Nazis so long as you don't criticize our product too brutally?"
I don't know the answer to that.
Personally, I wouldn't link to another blogger who said I was full of crap. It's only human nature for the Chron to follow the same rule of thumb.
For that reason, I am willing to give the newspaper the benefit of the doubt and credit Chron Tech Guru Dwight Silverman for the newspaper's linkage to local blogs.
But back to The Fat Guy's vexing problem. What to do when you can't find anything interesting, or original, to blog about?
I was thinking maybe he or me or you could every once in a while blog about what you dreamed about the previous night.
I know, I know. Hearing another person's dreams, unless you're close to that person, is about as interesting as listening to someone talk about how their Fantasy Baseball lineup is doing.
But since blogging, at least for me, is a pursuit aimed chiefly at self amusement, dream blogging might work when the well runs dry, and it could lead to some interesting comments from those who fancy themselves interpreters of dreams.
With that in mind, here are my last two most vivid dreams.
Last night, I had a dream in which a group of polar bears was gathering in a doorway of some kinda shack. But the polar bears were kind of dirty, with matted fur. And upon closer inspection, they turned out to be people dressed up like polar bears. It woke me up and I was told I was mumbling and thrashing around in my sleep.
My other dream, now about 2-3 weeks old, involved me flying. I wasn't flying outdoors, but inside these cavernous hallways and inside these large buildings, like big gymnasiums or arenas. It was thrilling, and in the dream I called up this guy I used to work with and told him, "Man, I have discovered this new sport. It's called flying. You're not gonna believe how fun it is. I can't believe nobody's ever invented it before!"
OK, analyze away. Or wait to see if the Chron links to this. Or just go about your own personal business.
Dow's a dirty word in India, 'specially around Bhopal.
[hindu.com]
[countercurrents.org]
So says Profootballtalk.com, which sometimes is wrong but often is right when it comes to NFL scoops.
They say: Although plenty of league insiders believe that Texans G.M. Charley Casserly should join coach Dom Capers in the ranks of the soon-to-be-unemployed, word is that owner Bob McNair will keep the guy who hired the coach who hasn't done jack in four years on the job.
Capers, however, is definitely gone, meaning that Casserly will get another chance to hire the right guy to lead the team.
Of course, the new coach won't be in a position to give any input as to whether the team should keep quarterback David Carr for 2006, since an $8 million option bonus is due to the No. 1 pick from the 2002 draft at the end of the regular season. We think that the team should choose not to pay Carr the money, allow him to become a free agent, and then if the new coach decides that Carr is the best fit for the new coach's offensive strategy, Carr should be re-signed.
If they keep Carr, which I think they should do, they need to hire a full-time quarterback coach. Paul Hackett, the newly hired QB coach in Tampa Bay, seems to have had a positive effect on Chris Simms.
[profootballtalk.com]
Texas Tech Head Football Coach Mike Leach makes the big time in a cover profile in the New York Times Magazine.By changing the geometry of the game, and pushing the limits of space and time on the gridiron, Mike Leach of Texas Tech is taking football to some far-out places.
The piece was written by Michael Lewis, author of "Moneyball," a widely read book about Billy Beane, general manager of the Oakland Athletics baseball franchise, who's changed the way a lot of people evaluate baseball talent.
Leach, it turns out, appears to be carving out the same reputation in football, even if he does look more like the team's equipment manager rather than the head coach.
(And while we're on the topic of Texas Tech football, check out Tom Kirkendall @ Houston's Clear Thinkers and click on the video link he found. But read the NYT story first to fully appreciate it.)
[NYT Mag.]
Channell 11 isn't letting go of the story about the phony Christmas-time sob story that was published in the local Clute daily.
Apparently there has been more than one fake story written by child welfare caseworkers and then put in "The Facts" besides the one story the "newspaper" admitted earlier this week was false.
"The Facts" publisher went on the record with Channel 11's Dan Lauck to pronouce it's a "sad, sad" day for the newspaper, which gave Childrens Protective Services carte blanche to write up stories, but the paper hasn't seen fit to delve into how this fiasco happened except to say it thought the CPS-penned stories were true.
I'd cancel my subsription if I subscribed. Maybe I'll subscribe and then cancel the next day. To make a statement. Yeah, that's the ticket.
[khou.com]
Wastewater treatment plants, even when they're falling apart, aren't a high priority with taxpayers and the politicians who represent them. Both prefer to get gung-ho about stuff like police and fire protection, something you can see on the streets.
Waterwater effluent, on the other hand, is pretty much out of sight, out of mind, even if it's not out of smell.
Sooner or later, though, there's a price to pay.
And for the City of Houston, the time has come today.
State enviro regulators have ordered H-Town to pay nearly $1 million in penalties for unauthorized discharges from 11 of its wastewater treatment plants. One fine is for $969,195. Then another fine of $17,500 was added for additional infractions that occurred at a later date.
Though Houston fell short of the million dollar mark for its crappy wastewater treatment plants, it went over the magic mark if you consider another $40,348 in penalties that were assessed against the city for air pollution infractions.
Congratulations, Houston. When you top the million dollar mark in environmental penalties in a single month, you've definitely reached international city status, along with Bombay, New Delhi, Sao Paulo, and so forth.
Us hayseeds in Brazoria County have a long way to catch up. This week in The Texas Register, for instance, only the county seat of Angleton managed to get its knuckles wrapped for defiling the environment, and all it was worth was a measly $4,960, with $992 of that deferred.
[texas register]
Despite the earnest efforts of the Clute-based daily to torpedo a worthy Christmas-time charity effort, it looks like the not-so-fortunate kids who have ended up in the Childrens Protective Services barrel will get a helping hand this year.
We received word today that an account has been established at Texas Gulf Bank for people to donate funds to help children who are in foster care.
If you read today's earlier post, you know that "The Facts" newspaper backed out of the charity effort when a TV reporter began asking questions about a foster child case that was written up in the local paper. Turned out the kid's story was "fabricated" by a CPS caseworker.
For reasons we still can't fathom, the newspaper pulled the plug on the whole charity program. The jake legs at the local paper should never have ceded editorial control of the program to an outside agency, especially an outside agency connected to The Government, which is the branch of gu'mmit the paper is supposed to be keepin' an eye on. But turning over the editorial content of the charity program to the government most assuredly was the cheap way to do it, and still allow the paper to feed its charitable public profile. Fools! Blowhards!
Maybe they were trying to punish the CPS caseworker, or the state agency, by canceling the paper's role in the Fill-A-Stocking campaign, but the undeniable effect was that it would punish foster kids who could use a break, especially at Christmas time, and who had NOTHING to do with the fabricated story. Nice going, dimwits.
Anyway, today a local Good Samaritan called The Brazoria County Alliance for Children, headed by president Deborah Spoor, and an account has been set up at Texas Gulf Bank for those who wish to make donations and keep the holiday foster kid program going.
For information on how to donate please contact Marjorie Clark at Texas Gulf Bank or the Alliance at 979-849-2500.
Bottom line: "The Facts" can't play Grinch this year and you can play Santy Claus if you donate whatever you can afford. Thanks.
Since '82, the Clute-based daily has published hard-luck stories to raise money for needy kids at Christmas time, but they never checked out their veracity, choosing to take the word of Childrens Protective Services caseworkers.
A Houston TV reporter started asking questions about one of this year's hard-luck cases, leading CPS to discover a hard-luck story about a "hurricane" victim was fabricated.
So now the Clute-based "Facts" has plugged the plug on the whole shebang, which means even the real hard-luck kids are not gonna get a holiday helping hand. Nice going, Facts. Throw the baby out with the bath water.
Next time, if there is a next time, maybe you can find it in the goodness of your public-spirited heart to put one of your full-time employees on the job for a month or so, just to make sure the public isn't getting snookered. Then the whole Fill-a-stocking campaign wouldn't have to be blown up because of your bottom-line negligence.
"The Facts" my arse!
["the facts"]
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