"It's All Good"

Bob Dylan turns 68 next month.

USA Today says here that his new album, "Together Through Life" is :

a raffish riff on romance. Dylan's 33rd solo album, out Tuesday, lives up to the artistic standards established by a trilogy of career-recharging gems that started with 1997's Time Out of Mind. But he deviates from their apocalyptic burdens to spin yarns, wry and real, of ordinary folks in the grip of lust, longing and heartache.

The album sprang from a single jazz-tinged ballad, Life Is Hard, composed for French director Olivier Dahan, who made the Edith Piaf biopic La Vie En Rose and asked Dylan to contribute material for the upcoming My Own Love Song.

Inspired, Dylan lingered in the studio with his band and accordion player David Hidalgo of Los Lobos to follow his impetuous muse.

Producing himself under the usual pseudonym Jack Frost, Dylan has captured the vibrant, visceral, ramshackle sound of music made on the fly. The raw emotions and ragged spontaneity of Together, which is rooted in traditions that Dylan cherishes yet keenly surveys a contemporary landscape, set this work apart from 2001's "Love and Theft" and 2006's Modern Times.

While Together is anchored in Chess-era blues, with Dylan freely channeling Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters and Otis Rush, it's not monochromatic. Echoes of a Tex-Mex roadhouse, a Louisiana bayou and a Parisian cafe creep into the mix.

Of course, nothing separates Dylan from the pack like his craggy vocals and literate lyrics. Long ago celebrated for his surreal winding narratives, he now deals in straight talk, his searing irony and sly humor delivered with greater economy. Shake Shake Mama and It's All Good crackle with twisted humor. He still has the power to spook ("The door has closed forevermore/If indeed there ever was a door").

And some couplets are simply Dylanesque: "I'm listening to Billy Joe Shaver and I'm reading James Joyce/Some people they tell me I got the blood of the land in my voice."

He's got grit, for sure. His gloriously wicked, wheezy croon suits these biting, sentimental tales of love in hard times. Dylan may be tangled up in blues, but when he punctuates My Wife's Home Town with a mischievous chuckle, it's clear he has never felt so unfettered.

(editor's note: I bold-faced Billy Joe Shaver, above, to get the attention of The Fat Guy.)

The bird's nest is rehabitated

Last year about this time we brought you a two-part photo spread and special report on a sparrow's nest in which baby birds hatched and eventually flew the coop.

(See here and here if you don't remember.)

Well, we never removed the nest, which was constructed just above and to the right of the garage door and nestled between the top of an outdoor lamp and a roof gutter drainpipe. It's a good spot -- under the roof eaves for protection.

This year the same type of sparrow returned to the nest recently to lay the eggs you see above.

Some changes were made to the nest -- most notably some clothes dryer lint that wasn't there last year.

We don't know, of course, if it's the same sparrow and her mate that have returned to the nest, but we like to think so. (We don't even know what type of sparrow it is, but the male has some red coloring on its crown, if that's any help.)

We'll report later on what happens, so long as there are no mishaps on the ladder that has to be climbed to do this type of photojournalism.

Secessionist blowback

Real redneck or just a dimwit? Fox News reports, you make the call

Janeane Garafalo, the liberal activist/actress, castigated the Tea Party demonstrators as being racists and rednecks -- a vast overstatement that only opens makes her look a nincompoop.

So the Fox & Friends crew this morning calls on the co-founder of Save the Rednecks, apparently to demand an apology, but only manages to make themselves look like nincompoops.

We call it a draw.

Go the to video HERE.

Lynn Ashby corrects Gov. Perry on ridiculous idea of Texas secession

Our old pal Lynn Ashby, who once delivered a lecture to us at the University of Texas and later worked only a few yards from our cluttered desk at The Houston Post, has taken Texas Gov. Rick Perry (pictured above) to task for raising the idea of Texas seceding from the Union.

Perry's floating of Texas secession once again gave out-of-staters an opening to take pot shots at the Lone Star State. We don't need that. We've had eight years of it and it has become tiresome. We've had so much of it that our head hurts.

Moreover, the governor showed his ignorance. We don't need that, either. It makes us look like hayseeds. OK, maybe we are hayseeds, but there's no need to advertise it. His public relations people need to rein him in or he'll be sent back to his cotton farm in the Panhandle in short order.

Anyway, as Ashby writes in a column carried by the Clute daily:

Nice try, Gov, but you have bought into a Texas myth....

The truth is that we can’t secede from the United States, although some say that power is written in the Texas Annexation Treaty with the United States. The document was not a treaty, but a joint resolution of both the U.S. and Texas congresses. A treaty takes a two-thirds approval by the U.S. Senate, and Texas, being a slave nation at the time, would never get two-thirds approval. A resolution took only a majority, and the agreement barely got that.

Part of the confusion is because there were so many proposed treaties, agreements and resolutions submitted over the years — 17 of them. Some called for “the re-annexation of Texas” since, the measures claimed, Texas had been bought as part of the Louisiana Purchase. One proposal said Texas should come in no bigger than the biggest state at that time. Another divided the land into two territories, neither one of which would be called “Texas.”

When Texas first considered joining the Confederacy, some people, including Gov. Sam Houston, wanted the state to return to being the Republic of Texas. President Lincoln offered to send Houston an army to prevent the breakaway. Houston refused.

In Waco, Houston told a crowd that Texas should “unfurl again the banner of the Lone Star ... and re-enter upon a national career.” During the debate in Austin over secession, Houston planned to disperse the Secession Convention, take over the government and declare the Republic of Texas is alive and well. Texas did secede, of course, but until it officially joined the Confederacy, the flag of Texas was once again the Lone Star flag.

The new governor of Texas, Edward Clark, warned, “An effort will soon be made ... to establish an independent republic.” Also, the Confederate Army had requested 18 regiments from Texas — all infantry. Didn’t Jeff Davis know that the Texas cavalry was the best in the world?

Well, if at first you don’t secede, try, try again. A Texas congressman, Jim Collins, introduced a resolution in the U.S. House: “And in conclusion, if Texas citizens favor the establishment of the Republic of Texas, I would ask that both the Senate and House in the U.S. Congress be provided the opportunity to confirm this transfer of authority to the Republic of Texas.” — April 13, 1978. That’s right. 1978.

(if you want to send Ashby an e-mail, his address is ashby2(at)comcast.net)

Dow's credit rating nearly "junk" but fishing tournament in Michigan is a go

We've noticed Dow Chemical Co., which pumps the life source into the economy of this place known as Brazosport, has enjoyed a slight recovery in its stock price during the recent sucker's rally on Wall Street.

But today comes news that causes heartburn in the inner workings of Andrew Liveris, Dow's Big Cheese.

The company's credit rating has slipped one notch away from the dreaded "junk status."

As reported by the AP via Forbes:

The ratings agency lowered its senior unsecured rating on the Midland, Michigan-based company to "Baa3" - still an investment-grade rating - from "Baa1" with a negative outlook, meaning an additional downgrade is possible.

If Dow's credit rating is pushed into junk status, it could sharply increase borrowing costs and squeeze operations just as demand for chemicals sits at decade lows.

The downgrade "reflects the substantial increase in leverage as a result of the Rohm and Haas acquisition, and the significant integration risk associated with such a large transaction," Moody's said in a statement.

That is all.

Oh, one more thing.

The Dow-sponsored "Walleye Fest" fishing tournament in Michigan is on!

What could be better than taking a youngster into the great outdoors to catching fish from a dioxin-laced river?

Maybe one thing -- giving the fish to the poor!!

quote/unquote: Barkley on Mahorn, Brazil president on white people, Rick Perry on secession, David Simon on newspaper owners

(Editor's note: "quote/unquote" is a regular feature of The Brazosport News as long as Wilson in St. Louis keeps aggregating it. That is all.)

"Rick Mahorn couldn't fight a lick. Now if it was over a hamburger, he'd beat the heck out of you."
--- Charles Barkley, on TNT last night, when asked if he and Mahorn (pictured above committing a "hard foul") had fought during an NBA game

“This crisis was caused by the irrational behavior of white people with blue eyes, who before the crisis appeared to know everything and now demonstrate that they know nothing. I do not know any black or indigenous bankers so I can only say [it is wrong] that this part of mankind which is victimized more than any other should pay for the crisis."
--- Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, on March 27, in a press conference with Gordon Brown

“Texas is a unique place. When we came into the union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that. My hope is that America and Washington in particular pays attention. We’ve got a great union. There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, who knows what may come of that.”
--Gov. Rick Perry of Texas, recently

"You know, there's a lot of the general tone in journalism right now is that of martyrology. . . we were doing our job. Making the world safe for democracy. And all of a sudden, terra firma shifted, new technology. Who knew that the Internet was going to overwhelm us? I would buy that if I wasn't in journalism for the years that immediately preceded the Internet because I took the third buyout from the "Baltimore Sun." I was about reporter number 80 or 90 who left, in 1995. Long before the Internet had had its impact. I left at a time-- those buyouts happened when the "Baltimore Sun" was earning 37 percent profits. You know, we now know this because it's in bankruptcy and the books are open. 37 percent profits. All that R&D money that was supposed to go in to make newspapers more essential, more viable, more able to explain the complexities of the world. It went to shareholders in the Tribune Company. Or the L.A. Times Mirror Company before that. And ultimately, when the Internet did hit, they had an inferior product-- that was not essential enough that they could charge online for it. I mean, the guys who are running newspapers, over the last 20 or 30 years, have to be singular in the manner in which they destroyed their own industry. It-- it's even more profound than Detroit making Chevy Vegas and Pacers and Gremlins and believing that no self-respecting American would buy a Japanese car in 1973."
-- David Simon, writer/producer of The Wire, on Bill Moyers Journal,

Behind the Chron's Pulitzer finalist finish

You may have noticed the other day that the Houston daily was a finalist for a Pulitzer Prize.

It didn't win but came close, but the interesting thing about the newspaper's entry and strong finish was that everything it submitted to the Pulitzer judges was from the newspaper's digital product, Chron.com.

The Neiman Journalism Lab offered some details on what the Chron did in covering Hurricane Ike to merit its Pulitzer finalist recognition.

Chron management rightly noted to the Neiman people that "SciGuy" Eric Berger was a big part of the newspaper's Ike coverage.

“During a storm, he really acts like a weatherman for the paper,” said Scott Clark, vice president in charge of Chron.com. “We present him to readers as a trusted voice you can pay attention to.” Berger blogged around the clock, posting new storm models as they were available and predicting the path of Ike.

Berger held several live chats leading up to the storm that attracted an audience that, at any given moment, reached up to 14,000 people. “The idea that a science writer could be speaking live to an audience that would fill a basketball arena” was remarkable, Clark said.

Even if you the Chron does something to irritate or disgust or enrage you, you've gotta love the SciGuy.

Chron.com generated 18 million page views before, during and after Ike.

Porsche makes a 4-door sports car

Porsche is going to start selling a 4-door sports car called the "Panamera" in October.

At least some of you rednecks like vehicles other than pickups, right?

One can dream.

This new Porsche can go 188 mph.

And the lower-priced version is under $100 K. Did I tell you it seats 4? You can prolly get one with AM and FM.

Somethin' you may not know about TX

There's actually a town in Texas named Tarzan.

It's way out in West Texas.

It says here:

Tarzan wasn't formed until the 1920s...The town gets its unusual name from a submission to the postal service that was accepted. There's no telling how many names had been submitted and rejected, but the boys in the postal service thought it was great fun to have a Tarzan, Texas. After all, they didn't have to live there. The year was 1927 and Tarzan's popularity in the comic strips was right up there with Krazy Kat. Of course, when people thought of Tarzan in 1926, they though of Elmo Lincoln instead of Johnny Weissmuller. Not that it makes much difference.

The "turning point" for Tarzan (the Town) came in 1938 when a highway was built from Big Spring to Andrews. It's equidistance made it a natural stop for whoever might be traveling between these two cities. The turning point for Tarzan (the Apeman) was when he met Jane. Everybody knows that.

If you already knew this, we apologize for wasting your time.

Casino gambling in TX -- whattya think?

Just read here
in the Dallas Morning News "Trail Blazer" blog that 17 casinos are included in the Tx House bill that's now on the table.

Before casinos spring up, there would be a constitutional amendment voted on by the people, but before that, there would have to be a two-thirds vote by both houses of the Legislature to get it on the ballot.

That's a big IF.

But it gives us an opportunity to put up another poll in the right hand sidebar of this blog.

DO YOU FAVOR LEGALIZED CASINO GAMBLING IN TX?

quote/unquote: "hide-the-rope" edition

(Editor's note: Another in a series, compiled by Wilson in St. Louis.)

"It's kind of tiring, I mean mentally, to get covered with dirt. What I really want to do is to go live in the woods by myself."
--- 25-year-old Hironari Ota, a former online retailer who is a new member of a job-training program in Japan to train the unemployed to become agricultural workers. Ota is reading a translated copy of Thoreau's "Walden."

"I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me."
---- "Tristam Shandy", Laurence Sterne (1713-1768)

"We were told, 'work hard, play by the rules, and pay your taxes and you will get ahead' -- you will have the so-called American Dream. That's a damn lie, and I for one am mad as hell about it. God help those in charge should I and the millions of other people like me (and our numbers are growing exponentially by the day) reach a point of desperation or no return. There will be a revolution and no redemption for the people who caused this mess."
--Joris Rapelje, of Clinton Township, Michigan, unemployed, quoted in The Nation, Feb. 23, '09

"I nonetheless witnessed firsthand the leveling effect of a health care system made incompetent by greed. However much blacks lack health care, the crisis affects all but the very rich. However often blacks face foreclosure, the crisis affects all but the very rich. On a sinking ship, everyone is equal except those who own all the lifeboats."
---- Debra Dickenson, Mother Jones, Jan/Feb. '09

"At any rate it makes it clear on three occasions he (Gandhi) was willing to let his wife or child die rather than administer the animal food prescribed by the doctor. It is true that the threatened death never actually occurred, and also that Gandhi -- with one gathers, a good deal of moral pressure in the opposite direction -- always gave the patient the choice of staying alive at the price of committing a sin: still, if the decision had been solely his own, he would have forbidden the food, whatever the risks might be. There must, he says, be some limit to what we will do in order to remain alive, and the limit is well on this side of chicken broth."
----- "Reflections on Gandhi" essay by George Orwell, 1949

"It's better for the international community to give us $1 million to clear out the pirates on the ground, instead of paying millions of dollars to keep the warships at sea,"
-- Abdullahi Said Samatar, the security minister in northern Somalia's semi-autonomous Puntland region, where many of the pirates are based, called for more funding to help tackle the gangs behind the piracy.

"I told my doctor I couldn't afford the surgery, so he said he could touch up my X-rays."

--- Henny Youngman

"I quit seeing my therapist because I thought he was trying to help me behind my back."
--- Richard Lewis

L.A. Times gives credit to Ron Paul

In case any of us forgot, Andrew Malcolm of the Los Angeles Times blog Top of the Ticket reminds that Our Congressman, Ron Paul, started the whole tea party thing back in 2007, during his run for the Republican presidential nomination.

Anyone monitoring varied blog comments and Twitter exchanges in recent days, however, recognizes the familiar grassroots flavor of the dedicated past Paulites in their chatrooms, exchanging organizing tips, alerting each other, making signs and alerting the media.
Many Republican politicians back home for the Easter recess, which seems to last well past the time that anyone else gets to mark that holiday, appeared to be playing catch-up, inviting themselves to the local rallies.

[snip]

The question, of course, remains whether the grassroots organizers with complicit political allies can over time turn the anger into an actual effective political movement, as Howard Jarvis did with the anti-tax Prop. 13 in California years ago. And which party can most effectively tap into the protesters’ anger, using the new social networking methods that Obama’s campaign itself employed so well the last two years.

Meanwhile, since he proved so prescient last year about the approaching economic bust, here are some of Ron Paul’s recent thoughts on taxes and government spending, which, it may not surprise you to learn, he blames for much of the contemporary economic turmoil:

Could America exist without an income tax? The idea seems radical, yet in truth America did just fine without a federal income tax for the first 126 years of its history.

Prior to 1913, the government operated with revenues raised through tariffs, excise taxes and property taxes, without ever touching a worker's paycheck.

The harmful effects of the income tax are obvious. First and foremost, it has enabled government to expand far beyond its proper constitutional limits, regulating virtually every aspect of our lives. It has given government a claim on our lives and work, destroying our privacy in the process.

It takes billions of dollars out of the legitimate private economy, with most Americans giving more than a third of everything they make to the federal government. This economic drain destroys jobs and penalizes productive behavior.

The ridiculous complexity of the tax laws makes compliance a nightmare for both individuals and businesses.

Is it impossible to end the income tax? I don't believe so. In fact, I believe a serious groundswell movement of disaffected taxpayers is growing in this country. Millions of Americans are fed up with the current tax system, and they will bring pressure on Congress.

the Tea Party in Oklahoma City

It was, by and large, a gray-headed crowd. Very polite. The speakers, oh, you've already heard it all by now. What they need is an H. Rap Brown. But there's some pissed off people around the land, that's for sure. Maybe they'll have something to say at the mid-term elections. For now, though, they just don't have the votes.

Teabagging, scrotums & penises, OH MY!

MSNBC's snickering over the term "teabagging" is juvenile and sophomoric and we're pretty sure unprecedented for a major media outlet that provides news and opinions to millions of homes around the world.

As you know, the term teabagging means a certain sexual practice in some circles of our society.

Well, the media, or at least MSNBC, this week wastes no opportunity to invoke the teabagging term, and double entendres relating to scrotums and penises and mouths and such, in reference to tomorrow's "tea party" protests against government spending.

It's kinda funny, for awhile, but then, I'm sorry, it's just too junior-high-ish for what's supposed to be coming forth from a major media outlet.

So, it's finally happened, I guess. I've turned into a middle-aged fuddy-duddy.

Crap.

[David Shuster on MSNBC doing the teabagging schtick]

A valid question about the piracy problem; plus, Our Congressman to join teabaggers in Seabrook

Our Congressman, US Rep. Ron Paul, gives voice to what a lot of people are wondering regarding the Somali pirates who are raiding ships in the Indian Ocean.

Why in the hell don't these privately owned shipping lines provide their own security? (We've learned from the TV that it's for insurance reasons, which makes no sense to us.)

Paul talks about the problem in this video.

He's worried that the ongoing piracy problem may lead to yet more military intervention in the region by our government.

It seems to us that if these shipping lines put a half-dozen or so armed security contractors on their vessels, the pirates may be less inclined to putter out on their motorboats and take over these ships.

During the latest incident, in which the American ship captain was held for ransom before being freed, the ship's crew first fought off their assailants with WATER HOSES.

While we're talking about Rep. Paul, we should mention that he'll be at the Tea Party in Seabrook on Wednesday, according to this story in the Fort Worth paper.

There's a lot of snickering among some members of the media elite about the "tea baggers," which is addressed in a vague way in this Huffington Post disptach, but we're certain it's way over the head of Our Congressman.

Jed Clampett lives!

There is a production facility in far West Texas named after Jed Clampett, the fictional hillbilly who struck it rich in the TV show The Beverly Hillbillies.

At least we think it was named for the TV character.

There might be a nonfictional, real-life person named Jed Clampett whose name was invoked in the naming of the production facility located in Gaines County, Texas.

If that is the case, it pretty much blows the purpose of this blog post, we agree.

Still, not being of a mind to place a call to the production facility, or to the local library in Andrews, Texas, the county seat of Gaines, to make the appropriate inquiries, we prefer to believe that someone with either a wry sense of humor or an abiding love for the aforementioned situation comedy series decided to name a production facility after a fictional Tennessee hillbilly who struck it rich when he fired his long gun at some prey, and, in missing, somehow struck a rich vein of oil, whereupon he decided to move to Beverly Hills, Calif.

Wheeee, doggies.

Shocking video from a sort of pirate boat, apparently

Fire at ConocoPhillips coker unit

The ConocoPhillips refinery in Sweeny had to shut down its coker unit when a fire erupted yesterday.

They blamed it on a bushing that "gave way" in this report to state enviro regulators.

Environmental upshot: 1,000 lbs sulfur dioxide, 700 lbs of carbon monoxide, etc. released via flare or via fugitive emissions.

Now, why'd the bushing give way?

No idea. Shit just happens maybe.

Pearland lawmaker learns the ropes early

Scratch the back of Randy Weber, the new state representative from Pearland, and he'll give you a back scratch in return.

The quid pro quo in this case involves the permitting of industries that pollute, reports Texas Watchdog.

The Pearland Republican’s legislation would streamline the permit review process, which would save energy companies the hassle of taking their plans directly to the public –and could save them money on the lawyers and lobbyists who do the day-to-day work of securing a permit. The measure would also make it harder for citizen groups to organize and make their case to state regulators.
For example, Weber’s bill would undo the “the opportunity for contested case hearings.” That’s the main chance the public has to voice concerns about how an aging coal plant has polluted the air, soil and water in their neighborhood. Hearings like this also grab media coverage and catch the attention of citizens who weren’t yet aware that a power-generating facility was coming to town.

(snip)

All told, Weber collected at least $15,000 from energy-related donors last year, according to records on file with the Texas Ethics Commission.
Other Weber donors include Chevron PACs ($1,000), Texas Oil and Gas PAC ($1,000), ExxonMobil ($2000) and Chevron ($1,000)–all of whom, like Simmons, have a lot to gain from a bill that weakens regulations on energy companies.
Texas Watchdog left a message with Weber’s office Wednesday. We’ll update you if we hear from him.

The Chronicle's hot, new, completely sexualized website for stodgy, conservative, Republicanized Houston, Texas

Now we understand why the Houston daily's new website, 2995, says you have to be 13 or older to peruse it (although the minimum age requirement is an honor system thing.)

So, hit the "sex" tab.

Its principal author is MILF.

We recently learned, during Sarah Paliln's campaign for the vice presidency, that MILF is an acronym for Mother I'd Like to Fuck. Yes, we said Fuck.

Today's offering from MILF is on oral sex and what foods you should eat so that your sexually-produced juicy juices taste good.

Broccoli bad, papaya good.

Shouldn't there be a picket line protest in the planning stages by now? Where's Steven Hotze?
Rick Perry?
Quanell X?

Anyone? Anyone?

Worst Album Covers smears Cadet Don

The Orlando Sentinel, a fine paper more or less that we think is probably available for the right price by the bankrupt Tribune Co., has included the record album by former KTRK-TV Channel 13 personality Don Seymour in its compilation of Worst Album Covers.

When you work with a sock puppett, like Don did in his heyday, you run the risk of being lumped into such lists.

But after looking at the other list members, we feel that an injustice may have been served upon Don & Seymour.

Here's the whole entire photo lineup of the alleged worst LP covers.

Don and Seymour are ranked at #15.

We can't be sure if that is supposed to mean his is the 15th worst LP cover or not, but so far as we're concerned, Don & Seymour's is a work of inspired (though understated) art compared to these:

#6 "The Handless Organist -- Truly a Miracle from God" (she really doesn't have any hands and she's seated at an organ. Damn.)

#7 "Have Harp, Can't Travel" ( a dwarf in a tuxedo with a harp outside a bus)

#21 "Chicken Coop de Ville" ("Feauring the SMASH HITS "I Seen Her First" ... The LP cover may have been meth-inspired, but can't be absolutely sure; worst mullet ever worn by a singer we're pretty sure [this includes Billy Ray Cyrus])

#25 "The McKeitherns" (a scary-looking family that I think has many troubling secrets; if hitchhiking, do NOT accept ride from them)

#31 "Joyce" (a simple studio portrait, properly lit and in focus, of "Joyce" that reminds me of how Andrea Martin of SCTV fame might have appeared in a sketch of the same name)

#33 "Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay" (cameo mugshot by Howard Cosell w/ Ali in traditional kick-ass boxing glory)

#35 Jonah Jones "I Dig Chicks!"( Females in sweaters with bullet-pointed braiserres, posing, smiling, vamping in the business end of a large earth-digging machine )

#43 "The Best of the Singing Postman" (likely conceived long before the Edmond, Okla., Post Office massacre that led to the current usage of "going postal" ... this LP cover may well have been a omen)

#44 "Country Church" (a quartet, with a barn in the background ... bad haircuts & bad 'staches & V-neck sweaters)

#45 Freddy Gage "All My Friends Are Dead" (Freddy, wearing white dress shoes, white tie, white shirt, squatting by a tombstone, looking contemplative and possibly very very depressed)

#46 "Lots of Love Peace" (8-member band, red vests, an accordion, trumpet, bass fiddle and spectacles that are in fashion even today, and one pair of white go-go boots)

#49 Foster Edwards Orch. "What's Next?" (one guy and two elephants wearing wigs)

************************

What do you think?

Examiner papers hire Clifford Pugh

Of the recent casualties in the recent 27 percent purging of the Houston Chronicle newsroom, one of the biggest shockers was the axing of the newspaper's style critic, Clifford Pugh.

But the veteran scribe won't be on the mat for long.

The Examiner newspaper group, which produces weekly freebie papers in River Oaks, West University, Memorial and Bellaire, has hired Pugh as its newest columnist.

His first column will be in the April 9 edition, we're told.

Clifford worked for many years at the old Houston Post, then moved over to the Chronicle when the Post was bought out by the evil Hearst Corp. in 1995.

His stuff was in the Chronicle constantly, and most recently he blogged feverishly about the fashion scene. He even jetted off to Europe to do stuff for the daily.

So when he got whacked, it was a bit of a surprise.

Rich Connelly, in his Hairballs blog at the Houston Press, called the layoff of Pugh the most surprising of all the newsroom layoffs:

He's been covering stuff in Houston 4-evah (as we guess they might say in the fashion world he wrote about). He's versatile, witty, productive, took to blogging like he was born to it, even had somewhat of a brand name among the audience. We've got no idea if he was a pain as an employee or was simply overpriced in these grim times, but he still seemed like someone the bold new online Chron world would want onboard.

For the record, we can say without equivocation, because we know Clifford pretty good from his days at the Post, that he is a hail-fellow-well-met kinda guy and not a "pain" to work with.

So what will Pugh's new column entail?

In an exclusive online interview with The Brazosport News, Pugh told us this:

The Examiner folks have encouraged me to write about whatever I want. It will definitely start with a fashion/lifestyle emphasis. But who knows where it will go from there??

We've got an idea!

Howsabout something on whatthehell'sgoingon at the Chron?

Give us the lowdown, Cliffie!!

Happy as a puppy w/ 2 peters?

What about a human bean w/ 2 peters?

If only this lad was old eough to tell us if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

quote/unquote: Bill Self, Mencken, Shaquille O'Neal and a two-handed bowler from Austrailia

(Ed.'s note: Another in a series by Wilson in St. Louis.)

''He had a family member, who is also a cousin of Elijah Johnson, a young man we signed. Elijah and Tyrone grew up in the same neighborhood in Gary, Ind., and there was a family member that was shot and killed this past week, and the services were this morning. So [Appleton] flew home to be with his family, and he'll be back here by, I believe, 7:30 this evening....Last year, we had two individuals who had family members murdered in drive-bys in the same week....It does put a perspective on everything. Because basketball is important -- it's why we're all here -- but it's certainly not life or death, which is what a lot of these guys go through. And we just kind of pass it by, as if it's not that big a thing. But you know that these guys are really, really hurting inside.''
-- Kansas coach Bill Self, quoted in the March 22 Chicago Sun-Times column by Rick Telander after Kansas player Tyrone Appleton had to leave the team to attend the funeral of a family member who had been killed.

"I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them."
--- H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

"Put somebody on their (expletive) back. Don't let anybody oopsy-doopsy lay up on you and be laughing at you. Have you ever seen me get dunked on? No, because I put (expletive) on their backs. Period. 'If you're going to be a big man, be a big man. Don't be out there (expletive) around. Lay somebody on their (expletive) back. Period.' Wilt (Chamberlain) told me that. Bill Russell told me that. Hakeem (Olajuwon) told me that. All the great big men told me that. . . . That's what I'm trying to teach him, instead of just being out there like a loose tree blowing in the wind. Do something."
--- Shaquille O'Neal, Arizona Republic March 31, on advice to rookie center Robin Lopez of the Phoenix Suns


"I never got to the point where I was having trouble sleeping. At the end of the day, it's bowling."
--- Australian bowler Jason Belmonte, known for his unorthodox two-handed approach, after winning the Long Island Classic bowling tournament and earning a full-time spot on next season's Professional Bowling Assn. tour

5 best pranks ever caught on film and put on YouTube, according to Esquire Magazine

Click Here

Ed. Note: Whoops. The #1 best prank on the above link has been removed from YouTube for copyright infringement, but my secretary found the original, which is below ....

Scare Tactics- mutated rat boy

Bruno movie too sexy (or disgusting) for censors; Ron Paul's appearance apparently not the problem

The forthcoming Sacha Baron Cohen movie, in which the actor attempts to seduce Congressman Ron Paul into a homosexual liaison, has been hit with an NC-17 rating by the motion picture censors.

The movie has to have an R rating under its contract with Universal, so Cohen has to rid his movie of the objectionable parts.

Will this mean Our Congressman's unwitting appearance in the film might be cut?

Probably not.

Two scenes from the movie that may have been "over the line" depicted the movie's main character, Bruno, "appearing to have anal sex with a man on camera. In another, the actor goes on a hunting trip and sneaks naked into the tent of one of the fellow hunters."

By contrast, Congressman Paul amscrayed out of a hotel room before "Bruno" could go too far, though "Bruno" did drop trou, which kinda freaked the congressman, as we (and Slate) reported here.

The Bruno movie website said Cohen (pictured above) is appealing the tenative rating given his movie.

The difference between an R and an NC-17 in terms of financial reward is vast. "Borat," which cost a piddling $18 million to make, took in $261 million in worldwide box office. Universal paid $42 million for the English-language rights to "Bruno," but will spend far more than that in marketing the film. Major Hollywood studios almost never release films with NC-17 ratings.

Cohen is currently appealing the decision while simultaneously struggling with cutting the film to suit the ratings board. But the ratings board, a secret panel of parents appointed by the studio-owned movie association, is notoriously inexact about what it requires to move from an NC-17 to an R.

Baron Cohen has butted heads with the MPAA before. Borat was given an NC-17 on its first go-round, and still ended up with a hilarious, outrageous scene in which he wrestled naked with his obese driver, ending up with his face in the man’s genitals and anus.

The spokesman said that Baron Cohen had shot a lot of material, and would be able to cut it without a problem. “With the quantity of material available, I cannot foresee a problem,” said the spokesman. “It's not even April and the film comes out July 10 so it's nonsense to say there's a struggle of any kind."

2 Houston TV stations, Dallas & Austin papers and Austin public radio station score at Headliners Awards

The Headliners Awards are a big deal every year in the world of media. Here's how Texas media did. For the whole list click right here.

TELEVISION
Continuing coverage of a single news event: 2nd Place, KHOU-TV, Houston, Mark Greenblatt, David Raziq, Keith Tomshe, "Go Army or Go to Jail"

Public service: 3rd Place, KHOU-TV, Houston, Jeremy Rogalski, Keith Tomshe, David Raziq, "A Dangerous Lesson."

Environmental reporting: 3rd Place, KTRK-TV, Houston, KTRK Green Team, "Green to Green."

NEWSPAPERS

Newspaper Photography and Graphics: Newspapers/sports: 1st Place, The Dallas Morning News, Tom Fox, "Usain Bolt Breaks World Record"

Photo essay/story: 3rd Place, The Dallas Morning News, Sonya N. Hebert, "At the Edge of Life."

Newspaper Affiliated Online Journalism: 2nd Place, Austin American-Statesman, statesman.com

RADIO
Documentary or public affairs, 1st Place and Grand Award, Texas Music Matters/KUT 90.5, Austin, Texas, David Brown and Michael May, "Amazing Grace: The Story of Willie Nelson."

quote/unquote: Jack E. Leonard on Ed Sullivan, a newspaper chain's stock price, Albert Camus, depression in The Midwest

(Editor's note: Another in a series; as always, aggregated by Wilson in St. Louis.)

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Comedian Jack E. Leonard (1911-1973) to Ed Sullivan (pictured above w/ Michael Jackson)

"Lee (owner of the Post-Dispatch) stock traded at more than $35 a share in early 2007 but on Monday closed at 28 cents a share. On February 20, the day after the refinancing was announced, the stock closed at 52 cents a share."
--the River Cities Reader of Davenport, Iowa , March 18

"A single sentence will suffice for modern man: He fornicated and he read the papers."
-- Albert Camus (1913-1960

"Well, things could be worse. Take St. Louis, for example."
--Kevin Collison, Kansas City Star business columnist, on development in KC, March 23)

The bailout, explained

(hardhat tip to Chron biz columnist Loren Steffy, who's still employed.)

Meanwhile, for a different account of the bailout, we strongly urge you to read this story in Rolling Stone by Matt Taibbi.

Self-immolation at the Houston paper

The layoffs at the Houston Chronicle cut much deeper into the editorial side of the newspaper than the announced company-wide 12 percent reduction that was announced by publisher Jack Sweeney.

By the count of newsroom workers who survived, 27 percent of the paper's editorial staffers were let go yesterday. That amounts to 90 employees, they said.

"Unbelievable," said one writer who managed to stay employed.

Chronicle management has not released any raw numbers regarding newsroom employees who were laid off, an omission that was noted by several readers who reacted to the online offering of reader representative Jim Newkirk, who posted a two-sentence "column" asking for reaction to the newspaper's "reorganization" -- without giving any details of the changes.

Several readers obliged.

"It is impossible to comment when almost no information is provided.
I find it humorous, actually. If another major business in Houston announced a 12% staff reduction with as little information as this, the Chronicle would be all over it like white on rice," said one.

Wrote another: "Funny that you have to read the Houston Press blog to find out the details of what's going on. The Chron is acting just like the TV stations do...they invite you to become familiar with a personality/writer, but give you no information when they're gone."

The newspaper, naturally, soft-pedaled its layoff coverage with a three-paragraph story that was buried. The online story promised readers "more information" in Newkirk's column, which, naturally, provided none.

The good news, at least for editorial workers, is that all the newsroom layoffs were handled yesterday.Today, management will notify employees in advertising, circulation and other departments that will be laid off.

Those who survived were left to ponder how the decisions were made and what it will mean for the future of Houston's only daily newspaper.

Several points stand out, some of them not-so-shocking and a few of them weird.

-- No upper management employees were laid off. Natch.

-- Management told employees no serious consideration was given to invoking wage cuts or involuntary furloughs, two strategies other newspapers are trying in dealing with the newspaper industry's decline.

-- The only two women on the editorial board -- Claudia Kolker and Veronica Bucio -- were laid off, leaving the board composed entirely of five white males. "They're talking about moving somebody up there that doesn't have a penis," snarked one miffed employee.

-- Houston is home to NASA, right? And they lay off the guy (Mark Carreau) who's covered NASA since the Challenger blew up in 1986?

-- The Chon, just a few months ago, brought in Tracy Barnett, the travel editor for its sister paper in San Antonio, to handle the travelogue beat for both papers from her new home in Houston -- then canned her yesterday.

-- The religion writer's gone. The book editor's gone. The transportation reporter's gone. Details to be worked out later, evidently.

-- With this layoff and previous ones, the newspaper has effectively abandoned the suburbs outside Beltway 8, where in past years the Chronicle was finding circulation gains. If you don't count the so-called Neighborhood staff, which puts out the weekly zoned editions (Zzzzzzz) and offers a handful of blogs (but which also suffered at least two layoffs we know of) there aren't any Chron newshounds in Sugarland, Katy, Conroe, Brazosport/Angleton or Beaumont. Ah, they're all hayseeds anyway, right? Good news for the local rags, we guess.

-- Four Chron newsroom couples were effectively "split up," with one getting the ax and the other remaining employed. Lawyers call that splittin' the baby.

-- Medical coverage to those laid off during this reduction will be given only 5 weeks medical coverage; the last layoff extended medical coverage for 3 months and the layoff previous to that payroll reduction provided for 6 months coverage. It has something to do with federal stimulus money now available to laid-off workers that's too complicated for us to fully explain, but it's a money-saver for the Hearst Corp. in New York.

-- Chronicle Vice-President and Editor Jeff Cohen never came out of his office to address the staff during the day-long process of buttonholing employees to deliver the bad news. Instead, he issued a memo. What a leader.

So what kind of newspaper will the Chronicle be with so many employees gone?

"Less a paper of record and more of the quote/unquote Big Picture," opined one.

We'll see.

Good luck to those who lost their jobs.

*********************************************
An Update
*********************************************

Wednesday afternoon --

It's clear now that mid-ranking managers at the Chronicle had no idea the newsroom reductions would be so dramatic.

As one worker bee put it, a management figure told him "he knew they'd be laying off a lot of people, but had never heard an actual figure. He also said that if Dan Cunningham or Jeff Cohen had told him that 90 people were getting the ax, he'd have figured his time had come and would have had his bags packed."

The Chron manager went on to say, " that he's been told the cuts were so deep this time because Hearst wanted to get down to the bare bones in hopes of riding out this downturn. The corporate prognosticators apparently are expecting a really rough year or 18 months ahead, and then a gradual rebound until things turn around at about the two-year mark," the employee told me.

More than one person with whom I once worked at the Houston Post when it was bought out by the Chron in 1995 said that in a way it's better losing your job at a newspaper that entirely collapses instead of watching coworkers get fired by the droves while you, somehow, manage to stay.

"At least back then, we were all in it together. This time, so many familiar faces have just vanished, and we're left with a much bigger workload and a load of survivors' guilt. I'd better stop there. This is getting way too depressing," the Chron employee said.

Houston paper cuts local news presence

It's pretty much official now.

The Houston Chronicle doesn't give a damn about covering southern Brazoria County.

The newspaper has laid off Richard Stewart, who covered the county for the "regular" edition of the big city daily (as opposed to the pitiful weekly zoned edition that only covers Pearland.)

Mr. Stewart, a veteran journalist who's been with the Houston paper for as long as we can remember, is among a whole bunch of people who were let go at the monopoly Houston paper today. More layoffs will come down tomorrow.

We refer you to Hairballs, the blog operated by The Houston Press, for further coverage here, here, here and, yes, even here.

Best of luck and vaya con huevos to all the newspaper folks laid off.

Equistar says adios to BrazCo

The local Clute paper says Brazoria County is losing one of its most reliable contributors to our area's emissions events.

The Equistar plant over by Alvin is shuttin' down.

Here's "the facts" from local daily:

LyondellBasell announced today it will permanently shut Equistar Chemicals’ Chocolate Bayou complex Aug. 4, ending the company’s presence in Brazoria County.
Equistar is a LyondellBasell subsidiary.
Spokesman David Harpole said the decision will result in about 30 additional job losses. In November, officials said the site staffed more than 400 people, both full-time employees and contractors.
The site has been shut down since December, but officials hoped demand would pick up and the site could come back online. In January, the site was shuttered indefinitely due to a lack of demand. The following month, 220 employees were cut.
On Jan. 6, LyondellBasell filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

Look! A newspaper NOT in trouble!!

The Austin daily newspaper is for sale (still) with no apparent buyers offering enough money yet to make a deal.

The Houston Chronicle is fixin' to do a double-digit reduction in force. It's been the same story with the San Antonio Express-News. Same story with the Fort Worth daily. And in Dallas.

But there's one paper in Texas that appears to be doing something right -- the weekly in Austin.

Or at least there doing enough things right to get NY Times media writer David Carr to write this glowing report.

The Austin Chronicle, a weekly newspaper as funky and idiosyncratic as the town it covers, continues to thrive with a relentlessly local news agenda — state government, the school board and the City Council, along with deep coverage of the arts — and a willingness to lead, as opposed to simply criticize, in artistic matters.

At a time when daily newspapers seem to be going away at the rate of one a week and weeklies are madly cutting to stay afloat, The Chronicle, which has revenue of approximately $8.5 million a year, has not laid off anyone, has no plans to do so, and its business is off just 7 percent in the last three years.

One of the secrets to their success, according to the story, is they are relentlessly local.

Which probably is why whenever I pick one up while in Austin, I don't find much in there that interests me, since it's so local I'm lost.

But I tip my hardhat to them for their success and what they've done with the South By Southwest deal.

Top 10 gaffes of Obama/Biden

According to the U.S. editor of The London Telegraph.

quote/unquote: David Simon on newspapers, W on Obama, govt. intrusion, Ron Artest & Phil Jackson

(Another in a series from St. Louis by Wilson.)

"Half-truths, obfuscations and apparent deceit -- these are the wages of a world in which newspapers, their staffs eviscerated, no longer battle at the frontiers of public information. . . .There is a lot of talk nowadays about what will replace the dinosaur that is the daily newspaper. So-called citizen journalists and bloggers and media pundits have lined up to tell us that newspapers are dying but that the news business will endure, that this moment is less tragic than it is transformational. Well, sorry, but I didn't trip over any blogger trying to find out McKissick's identity and performance history. Nor were any citizen journalists at the City Council hearing in January when police officials inflated the nature and severity of the threats against officers. And there wasn't anyone working sources in the police department to counterbalance all of the spin or omission. I didn't trip over a herd of hungry (Baltimore) Sun reporters either, but that's the point."
-- David Simon (pictured), writer/producer of The Wire, in an oped piece in the Washington Post, March 1, '09

"I want the president to succeed. I love my country a lot more than I love politics. I'm not going to spend my time criticising. There are plenty of critics in that arena....If he wants my help he can pick up the phone." -- George W. Bush answering a question in Calgary, Canada, as demonstrators outside threw shoes

"What's next? Will they mandate that I can't have more than three cheeseburgers next week at McDonald's?"
--- Ivy Walker, New Hampshire restaurant owner, about his state's move for mandatory seat belt laws

“I think always, in the end, the better team will win, whether it’s the better team for the season or the better team that night. If you play solid, execute and play hard, the better team will always win, and I think tonight, whether it’s for the season or just tonight, the better team won.”
---Ron Artest, who had 18 second-half points Tuesday after going scoreless in the first half in a Houston win over New Orleans when Yao Ming was out with the flu.

“Ronny’s a funny fellow.”
--- Lakers Coach Phil Jackson about Ron Artest’s trash talking while guarding Kobe Bryant last week

We heard it was St. Patrick's Day

Ron Paul punk'd by that Borat guy

Sacha Baron Cohen, an actor/comedian who lures people into seemingly legitimate interviews or situations in the guise of someone he most definitely is not, has ensnared our own congressman into his web of comedic deceit.

This comes with the territory when you get as beloved and/or reviled as US Rep. Ron Paul. We're certain he can "take it" and believe it will only add to his legend.

HOWEVER, it is a bit embarrassing. By now, if you don't know you're getting punk'd by the guy who made a feature movie impersonating a Kazakh journalist named Borat or a popular HBO series portraying a British numbskull named Ali G., your finger ain't exactly on the cultural pulse.

The latest prank will be in movie theaters in July. Cohen is in the guise of Bruno, his gay Austrian journalist character (see photo), and has managed to lure our congressman into a hotel, ostensibly for an interview.

As described by an article in Slate, one of the lights illuminating the interview set blows out, so Congressman Paul is invited into an adjoining room to wait while the light is replaced.

The other room, it turns out, is a bedroom. The lighting is low, and the film is now grainy—not unlike a sex tape—as it cuts to a hidden spy camera. There's a spread of Champagne and strawberries and caviar on a table.
Bruno tells Paul to make himself comfortable. Paul sits down on the bed. Bruno turns on some music and starts dancing. Paul is visibly uneasy but doesn't say anything at first. He picks up a newspaper and pretends to read it. "You can tell at each weird gay detail, he [chalks] it up to, This guy is European," says one of the attendees.
Finally, Paul asks what's going on. "Don't worry about it, Dr. Paul," says Bruno, who then unbuckles his belt and drops his pants. At that point, Paul snaps up and storms out of the room.
As Paul is walking away, you can hear him say, several times, something like, "This guy is a queer!" "The word queer comes out of his mouth three or four times," says an attendee.

Paul's people confirmed what happened.

How Paul's press secretary, Rachel Mills, managed to let her boss step into this one is mystifying, as she told Slate she was "familiar" with Cohen's work. She also noted Cohen and company were "very deceptive in their tactics."

Personally, I can't wait to see the movie. Cohen's Ali G. series in HBO provided a number of needed chuckles in our home and his Borat movie was amusing, though a bit much at times for my middle-aged heterosexual sensibilities.

As for Paul's cluelessness to Cohen's modus operandi, it neither surprises or alarms us, but we think he should give serious consideration to getting a more culturally aware press secretary.

A flare at Dow

Here's a shot sent in by a reader during the latest emissions event at Dow. Thanks, reader.

Another day, another emissions event

We've always liked the vernaclar employed by the petrochemical industry to explain what goes on behind the fence line.

When there's a "plant upset," it conjures up the mental image of a case of mild indigestion. A few belches, a shot or two of Pepto and it will pass.

Maybe the nomenclature is apt, but, c'mon, there's a difference between the after effects of last night's pepperoni pizza and what went down beginning at 4 a.m. this morning at Dow Chemical in Freeport.

The three-hour plant "upset" is under investigation, and the flares are still burning like sumbitches last we heard.

A random sampling of the emissions:

-- 6,000 pounds of carbon monoxide
-- 1,600 pounds of ethylene (gaseous)
-- 400 pounds of toluene
-- 800 pounds of nitrogen oxides
-- 58 pounds of benzene

Nothing breaks the tension at a city council meeting like a well-timed fart

quote/unquote: Sir Charles Barkely, soccer, Mort Sahl, Orwell, Clint Murchison, etc.

(Another in a continuing series, as compiled by Wilson in St. Louis, an alleged "dying city" that once hosted the World's Fair.)

"If Chuck couldn't rebound, he would be that funny guy with all the opinions driving a forklift."
------- commentator "Ratatat" on Boston Herald website after Charles Barkley was released from a Phoenix jail after serving 36 hours on a DUI charge

"The British are islanders who conquered and colonized throughout their history. After the Roman Empire, Italians have always been invaded and dominated, so we had to learn how to defend ourselves. We developed a very shrewd mind set where I defend myself but in the meantime I quietly move my pawns underground."
-- Gianluca Vialli, former Juventus striker and Chelsea coach, on the stylistic differences between English and Italian soccer, on the new Wall Street Journal sports page, March 11, '09

"Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen."
--- Mort Sahl

"I could see Numero 57 lying crumbled up on his side, his face sticking out over the side of the bed, and toward me. He had died some time during the night, nobody knew when. . . . . . There you are, then, I thought, that's what is waiting for you 20, 30, 40 years hence: that is how the lucky ones die, the one who lives to be old. One wants to live, of course, indeed one only stays alive by virtue of the fear of death, but I think now, as I thought then, that it's better to die violently and not too old. People talk about the horrors of war but what weapon has man invented that even approaches in cruelty some of the common diseases? "Natural" death, almost by definition, means something slow, smelly, and painful."
--- "How the Poor Die" essay by George Orwell, circa 1934


"If you are gonna owe money, owe more than you can pay, then the people can't afford to foreclose." --- Clint Murchison, Texas oil baron, in the book "The Big Rich: The Rise and Fall of the Greatest Texas Oil Fortunes." by Bryan Burrough

"I've tried Spanish male, Spanish female, Asian female and Southern. I"ve even tried my own voice, and it didn't work very well."
--- Victor Patenaude, a specialist in debt collection, commenting that the best response he gets from the debt collection calls his company makes is when they use a British female voice. (Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 3rd).


“In the beginning, we didn’t want our daughter to play. We were worried that it would affect her posture, her character, even her sexual orientation. We put her in volleyball, in track, but nothing could stop her. Now her father is a fanatic fan.”--Selmin Odabas, mother of Selin Odabas, a player in Turkey's women's pro soccer league (NY Times)


“Autobiography is only to be trusted when it reveals something disgraceful. A man who gives a good account of himself is probably lying, since any life when viewed from the inside is simply a series of defeats.” -- George Orwell

An open-and-shut case in Alvin, TX

Crime never sleeps, not even in Alvin, where there's a statue of Nolan Ryan, who left town several years ago.

As Bill Crider, a novelist known to some as The Bard of Alvin, explains it:

A guy I know lost his wallet in Kroger yesterday. Dropped it while looking for a coupon or something. When it came time to pay -- no wallet. He called his credit card company immediately to cancel his card. The helpful person on the line said, "Did you charge gas at Wal-Mart about five minutes ago?" He hadn't, of course, so he called the station there. The cashier said there was no way she could identify the purchaser, who'd paid at the pump.

End of story? Not quite. About fifteen minutes later, the cashier called the guy and said, "He's back. He just filled up another car with gas."

How'd she know the guy was back? Because he came to the window to tell ask her for help because the pump wouldn't accept his credit cart. The cashier told him to go back to the pump, and she'd see what she could do. He left, and she called the cops, who swooped down and caught him, still waiting at the pump.

The guy I know lost about 60 bucks and has to get a new credit card, but it could've been worse.

We do not know yet if Chief Merkel has called a press conference. Stay tuned.

Hitler meme takes on T.O., Buffalo

Austin 6th drunkest city in USA

So says Quality Health.

It's the Live Music Capital of the World, brimming with well-stocked bars, clubs, and dance halls. So, is it any wonder that Austin earns a high spot on our list? The city ranks sixth for heavy drinkers, eighth for binge drinkers, and tenth for overall drinking.

Milwaukee, home of the baseball Brewers, is #1.

Is your hedge fund in trouble?

From NYC's Craigslist comes this classified.

We quote, in full ...

Is your hedge fund in dire financial straits? Are you totally screwed and now realizing that someone has to take the fall? Has your ponzi scheme enveloped numerous celebrity-endorsed charities benefiting Laotian children with AIDS and been discovered by the SEC?

I'm your man.

I will take the reins of your hedge fund for as long as necessary to establish credibility, then present a dramatic "mea culpa" to the press declaring that my poor decisions have saddled your company with mounds and mounds of "toxic assets" and "ponzi schemery." I will personally apologize to anyone and everyone I [you] have wronged and swear I had only the best intentions for your clients and shareholders. Death threats do not phase me. If necessary, I will go to jail. I will look Bernie Madoff in the eye and say "Hey bro, I feel you" on national television. You and the rest of your company can shake your heads and say "for shame" and then continue on your merry way losing money and what have you.

Minimum compensation one million dollars. Serious offers only.

[via StockTwits]

Astros project as 5th best in division

The Sporting News predicts a dismal season for the Astros, saying "Cubs, Cardinals and Brewers are better than the Astros, and the Reds also should pass them by this season."

The teams gets a grade of C in every category, says TSN.

Offense: C. Houston finished in the bottom half of the N.L. in runs, on-base percentage and slugging in 2008, and it added no impact players in the offseason. Because Tejada isn’t what he once was, Berkman and Lee have a heavy load to shoulder.

Pitching: C. Without Oswalt, Houston would have the weakest rotation in the division, even if Rodriguez and Hampton stayed healthy (far from a safe bet). The bullpen is solid with Geoff Geary, Doug Brocail and LaTroy Hawkins setting up Valverde, but it needs to reduce the homers allowed (MLB-high 70 last season).

Bench: C. Aaron Boone, expected to platoon at third, and fourth outfielder Darin Erstad bring experience and leadership, but their best days are behind them. Blum also is the club’s most versatile infielder. Fifth outfielder Jason Michaels drove in 53 runs in 286 at-bats in 2008.

Manager: C. A full season of experience will help Cooper after a commendable rookie season. He is a players’ manager who still is learning how to balance all of his responsibilities. He seems to be a quick learner, as evidenced by the Astros’ strong second-half showing.

How now Dow?

For all his bluster and bombast, Dow Chemical Co. Chairman Andrew Liveris lacks a little sand in the pants when confromted with the cold, hard facts.

Dow caved in today and made a deal to complete the poorly conveived merger with Rohm and Haas, and now Dow "plans to lay off 3,500 workers, on top of 5,000 already announced by the company," says the Wall St. Journal.

We can only hope the additional cuts don't hurt the working men and women of B'port too much.

Return to Woodstock

What Joe Cocker was really singing.

One of the guys you never read about

For all the media attention the bad eggs in pro sports receive, there are others we rarely read about, like Corey Smith, one of the two NFL players lost at sea last week in a storm.

He didn’t live his life in the flashy way that so many pro athletes choose to do. His house, for example, didn’t reveal the wealth of a man who spent seven seasons in the NFL with the Buccaneers, 49ers, and Lions.

“I was there three weeks ago,” (Smith's agent) Del Duca said. “He’s got eight, nine rooms in there, but he’s got furniture in three. And he’s had the place, like, six years! I said, ‘What are you doing?’

“Corey said, ‘I only live in three rooms, I don’t need furniture in the other six. I’ve got my big room with my big TV, got my kitchen, got my study, got my bedroom. That’s all I need, thank you. I’m saving my money.’”

Read more here in a post at ProFootballtalk.com.

Portrait: Jay Farrar

A simple proposal to save print media

Alan D. Mutter attended a conference that discussed how to save the print media.

One of the suggestions he heard was "use fewer words."

I'm not kidding.

Read his blog report here.

Dylan's real "Mr. Jones" -- gone

On Thursday we posted an old Dylan song via Blip.fm and passed along a comment from Jay Rosen, new media savant. wondering whether the title character in the song was a journalist.

Turns out "Mr. Jones" was a journalist at the time he interviewed Bob. And his surname was Jones (no relation to me.)

Oh, and he also passed away late last year, but it sounds like he led an interesting life.

A reader sent us this info and you can read it here.

The Houston Express-News San Antonio Chron?

Gawker, Nick Denton's flagship blog in New York, has passed along the rumor that the Houston Chronicle and San Antonio Express-News are going to combine into ONE newspaper.

This sounds ludicrous and we don't buy it, but we wouldn't be surprised if the two Hearst dailies decided to share more resources, content, etc.

But just for fun, here's what Gawker said:

We heard a downright bizarre unconfirmed rumor that Hearst's flailing newspaper division is considering merging the Houston Chronicle and the San Antonio Express-News into one operation. Bizarre, we say, for two reasons:

1. San Antonio is 200 miles away from Houston.
2. San Antonio is 200 miles away from Houston.

According to our tipster: "In theory, each paper will still have a base of operations in each home city. There hasn't been an official announcement yet, but everybody knows and all the staff at least suspect it."

Hearst has already threatened to shut down the money-burning San Francisco Chronicle, and they cut 75 newsroom jobs in San Antonio just a week ago. And don't forget the imminent death of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer! So this rumor could certainly be true, as a new frontier in cost-cutting. Still: two failing papers combine to form... a larger failing paper. [Details or denials? Email us]

Hearst made him an offer he could refuse

Looks like the Hearst Corp. is going to put out an online version of its Seattle paper after it fails to find a sucker to buy the damn thing.

They're making offers to select staffers now for the online operation, but they're cheap bastards, as illustrated by this reporter who said he declined the offer.

He said the offer increased his health insurance cost, cut his salary by an unspecified amount, matched his 401(k), required him to forgo his P-I severance pay, reduced his vacation accrual to zero and required him to give up overtime.

Is Dylan's Mr. Jones a journalist?

Jay Rosen, new media guru, asked the question. Maybe he's right.

Horton Foote -- gone

The most famous son of Wharton, Texas. A helluva screenwriter -- To Kill A Mockingbird, Tender Mercies, Trip To Bountful. [NYT]

Ouch! Hearst content not strong enough for pay wall

The head of Hearst newspapers (which include the Texas dailies Houston Chronicle, San Antonio Express-News, Beaumont Enterprise, Laredo Morning Times, Midland Reporter, Plainview Daily Herald, etc.) plans to erect a pay wall for some of its online content, but Ken Doctor asserts those newspapers don't produce enough "proprietary content" to convince readers to cough up some dough (though he does commend the Hearst bloggers.)

New Hearst News head Steve Swartz' leaked memo talks about charging for access to some online content, to be determined. Hearst execs have been told, since the announcement, not to erect any paywalls yet. In fact, they've been told to reach out and lasso more community content, another (better) idea newly regaining attention all around the country.



Odds of Happening: 4-1. It sounds good, but Hearst newspapers have little proprietary content that readers are going to be willing to pay for. Business content still merits, and rewards, walls, witness the WSJ.com and FT.com successes. But business content doesn't drive Hearst newspaper sites. Where they are strong is in staff and community blogging, in fact, led by strong editors, ahead of the industry as a whole.

I have no idea if Ken Doctor is right.

But our poll, which asked readers if they'd be willing to pay a reasonable fee for online access to their local paper, suggests he is. There's one more day to vote in the poll. Look over in the right sidebar. That is all for now.

From the Department of Ask And Ye Shall Be Answered ...

The Houston Chronicle's resident Pentecostal blogger, Ken Gurley of Pearland, asks his readers today, "Can You Go One Week Without Cussing?"

Responds commenter TexasRed55, "F^@& Yeah I can!"

Well, he asked.

Anyone remember "Pong"?

It was the first commercially successful video game.

Manufactured by Atari in 1972.

Two-dimensional graphics.

Now for what you may not have known, via the NYT blog Bits:

The first Pong system was installed at a Sunnyvale, Calif., bar called Andy Kapps, which used to be the site of the first bus stop in the city. The lines to play the game would stretch out the door, and the system had to be shut down often to clear out the coins blocking the over-filled payment slot. Today, the site is host to the Rooster T. Feathers comedy club.

In the matter of Paul Harvey

Paul Harvey, the radio legend, died over the week, as you know.

When anyone dies, the temptation is emphasize the good and soft-peddle the not-so-good.

J.D. Allen, a Vietnam vet who writes the Mouth of the Brazos blog out west o' the river, resists the temptation in this post:

I remember Paul Harvey, too. I remember how pro-Vietnam war he was. I remember his ranting and raving about how we were doing such a fantastic job, saving the Vietnamese, fighting for freedom and if you weren’t pro-Vietnam-war you weren’t worthy to be an American. I remember hearing him spouting that bullshit on the radio every time he came on. (Good AM radio stations were few and far between in the daylight hours in 1960’s Magnolia, Arkansas, so we were a bit limited. WLS and WNOE at night. FM? Forget it, even after it came around.) Yeah, he was a stone hawk, all right. After I got back from Nam I could not stand to listen to him, because then I knew without doubt that he had no fucking idea what he was talking about. Then, one of his or his relative's kids got KIA, or WIA. Or maybe it was a close friend’s kid. I don’t remember that. What I do remember is his conversion. Suddenly, it didn’t seem like all that good an idea to be over there at all. He completely switched sides. Changing your mind is fine - it's WHY you change your mind that matters. Long as it wasn’t somebody he cared about getting maimed or killed, it was fine, heroic, necessary. Well, fuck him. And now you know the rest of the story.

Hearst Corp. plans a moving pay wall for all its newspapers, including Houston & S.A.

The Hearst Corp., owner of the dailies in Houston, San Antonio, San Francisco and smaller places, is going to start requiring its online readers to pay a fee to access some of its Web content.

This is not shocking in the least to us (it's already been reported a pay wall plan was afoot for the San Francisco Chronicle) but the odd twist is each Hearst newspaper will change what's kept behind the pay wall on a daily basis.

In a memo to employees, Hearst President Steve Swartz explained:

Exactly how much paid content to hold back from our free sites will be a judgment call made daily by our management, whose mission should be to run the best free Web sites in our markets without compromising our ability to get a fair price from consumers for the expensive, unique reporting and writing that we produce each day.

So it sounds like some days you might be able to read your favorite columnist or blogger for free, and other days you'll have to pay, depending on the daily decision of what to put behind the pay wall.

You might as well just go ahead and pay for full access if you really, really want uninterrupted access to your favorite Hearst-employee's writings, which, of course, is the whole idea.

Fair enough, but will the newspaper/Web reading public go for it? We launched a poll a couple days ago over in our right sidebar to get an idea, and though the response has been tepid with only 15 total votes cast, 9 people said they would not pay for online access to their local newspaper. Voting in the poll will continue for four more days, so vote now if you haven't (no fee is involved.)

Meanwhile, Hearst President Swartz (pictured top right) wants his papers to add more "correspondents."

If we're reading between the memo's lines correctly, this apparently means bloggers who'll write without compensation in exchange for being placed on a Hearst-owned Website.

Swartz, who assumed the Hearst presidency only last December, puts it like this in his memo, which was first reported by the Wall St. Journal's Digits blog on Friday:

We must do a far better job of reaching out to prominent citizens in our communities, those who already have a blog and those who don’t, and providing them a prominent platform to state their views. We must develop a rich network of correspondents to help us grow the deepest hyper-local community microsites in our markets.

Put another way, they're co-opting as much of Bloggerville as possible, or at least that portion of Bloggerville that fits the Hearst model.

Of course, there still will be millions of independent bloggers who won't be writing for a newspaper's Website, so we're not suggesting anything sinister here.

It's just business and it's worth a try.