Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Worst Album Covers smears Cadet Don

The Orlando Sentinel, a fine paper more or less that we think is probably available for the right price by the bankrupt Tribune Co., has included the record album by former KTRK-TV Channel 13 personality Don Seymour in its compilation of Worst Album Covers.

When you work with a sock puppett, like Don did in his heyday, you run the risk of being lumped into such lists.

But after looking at the other list members, we feel that an injustice may have been served upon Don & Seymour.

Here's the whole entire photo lineup of the alleged worst LP covers.

Don and Seymour are ranked at #15.

We can't be sure if that is supposed to mean his is the 15th worst LP cover or not, but so far as we're concerned, Don & Seymour's is a work of inspired (though understated) art compared to these:

#6 "The Handless Organist -- Truly a Miracle from God" (she really doesn't have any hands and she's seated at an organ. Damn.)

#7 "Have Harp, Can't Travel" ( a dwarf in a tuxedo with a harp outside a bus)

#21 "Chicken Coop de Ville" ("Feauring the SMASH HITS "I Seen Her First" ... The LP cover may have been meth-inspired, but can't be absolutely sure; worst mullet ever worn by a singer we're pretty sure [this includes Billy Ray Cyrus])

#25 "The McKeitherns" (a scary-looking family that I think has many troubling secrets; if hitchhiking, do NOT accept ride from them)

#31 "Joyce" (a simple studio portrait, properly lit and in focus, of "Joyce" that reminds me of how Andrea Martin of SCTV fame might have appeared in a sketch of the same name)

#33 "Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay" (cameo mugshot by Howard Cosell w/ Ali in traditional kick-ass boxing glory)

#35 Jonah Jones "I Dig Chicks!"( Females in sweaters with bullet-pointed braiserres, posing, smiling, vamping in the business end of a large earth-digging machine )

#43 "The Best of the Singing Postman" (likely conceived long before the Edmond, Okla., Post Office massacre that led to the current usage of "going postal" ... this LP cover may well have been a omen)

#44 "Country Church" (a quartet, with a barn in the background ... bad haircuts & bad 'staches & V-neck sweaters)

#45 Freddy Gage "All My Friends Are Dead" (Freddy, wearing white dress shoes, white tie, white shirt, squatting by a tombstone, looking contemplative and possibly very very depressed)

#46 "Lots of Love Peace" (8-member band, red vests, an accordion, trumpet, bass fiddle and spectacles that are in fashion even today, and one pair of white go-go boots)

#49 Foster Edwards Orch. "What's Next?" (one guy and two elephants wearing wigs)


What do you think?

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