Imus & Co. bludgeon Contessa Brewer

A one-sentence item in the NY Post's Page Six gossip column this morning brought the fading feud between MSNBC radio yakker Don Imus and former news reader Contessa Brewer back to the red-hot level of schoolyard name-calling.

Here's the gossip item that led to Imus going nuts:

April 29, 2005 -- MSNBC's Contessa Brewer, a former news reader on Don Imus' show, telling pals at Cain that she thinks Imus is a "cantankerous old fool" who doesn't know how to relate to "beautiful women" . .-----

Imus & Crew immediately lit into Contessa at the start of their morning show, saying traffic tie-ups in New York City were caused by her "BIG BUTT" being stuck in a tunnel and her "FAT ASS" being stuck in the door at Burger King.

"Why didn't she just keep her mouth shut?" Imus demanded. "Why would she bring this on herself? She knows how we are. SHE IS SO PAINFULLY STUPID. That's the reason I got rid of her. I'd ask her to explain a story she had read and she didn't have a clue."

They went on and on about how Contessa was ugly, comparing her to "Miss Piggy," and saying how she looked terrible in the tight outfits she wore.

"I don't think Amy (Robach) or any of those in the back have to worry about HER taking over the Today show."

"She is MSNBC's answer to Candy Crowley," said Bernard, Imus' producer, comparing Contessa to the heavy-set CNN reporter.

Imus: "Why would she want to say anything about me with (Page Six scribe) Richard Johnson sitting near by? She must have been liquored-up. I was trying to keep my big mouth shut. But not anymore."

They called Contessa a "bimbo" with no sense of humor who got her job by winning a hot dog eating contest, that she makes Paris Hilton look like Condaleeza Rice (in intellect), that's she's an "ignorant slut."

That's about all Scooter, my wife and assistant, had time to scribble down due to the fast and furious pace of the name-calling.

At one point during the verbal assault, Charles McCord, the long-time news reader and Imus friend for more than 20 years, ducked his head and muttered something about "Abu Ghraib," referring, of course, to the Iraq torture prison. This torture, though, didn't take place in a prison but a radio studio.

Had we not witnessed the diatribe, Scooter and I could have sworn we were back in junior high. No, junior high was more dignified.

You'd have thought Brewer had called Imus a child molester.

Imus is a seasoned veteran in these sort of verbal fisticuffs, and the gossip item seemed to bring him back to life following his bout with kidney stone surgery that apparently didn't go all that well. He's on Vicodin for pain, so maybe that played a part in his over-reaction.

Indeed, the I-Man appeared more angry and animated over the alleged comments Contessa made than he was when the Wall Street Journal recently published an article that questioned the integrity of his New Mexico ranch, where kids with cancer are given of a week of therapeutic cowboy work.

Since Imus has the microphone Monday through Friday, he's at a decided advantage over Contessa, who's a mere news reader in the afternoons on the ratings-challenged MSNBC. He's in his element now.

Moreover, Imus has a band of loyal on-air sycophants who are more than happy to chime in when Imus goes nuclear. It's like Lord of the Flies on the radio.

In boxing terms, Imus vs. Contessa is comparable to the Muhammad Ali-Cleveland Williams fight held in the Astrodome back in the day. It's a mismatch. No contest. Maybe we should ask for our money back? Oh, yeah, it's free. And apparently what passes for morning radio entertainment in the media capital of the world.

What might happen next?

I doubt Richard Johnson, the NY Post writer, was sitting next to Contessa and friends when the alleged comments were made. More than likely, one of his tipsters phoned it in. Who's to say she really said it? And even if she did, so what? I's a private conversation!

Here's where Scooter and I disagree. She contends Contessa should have shown better judgment than to spout off in a public place about Imus, even if it was a private conversation at a table with friends. Better to say such things without prying ears nearby.

I, however, contend anyone in this country most certainly has the right to speak their mind to their friends in a public place and not be slandered for it on a radio program that is simulcast around the world.

I guess I'm naive.

I'm just glad I live in Texas, where most of us still have enough manners than to treat a lady this way.
Update: Brewer was a no-show at her Friday afternoon newsreading gig on MSNBC. There is no official word from management regarding the Imus & Co. contretemps.

Our past articles about Imus/Contessa:
Brazosport News, March 2, 2005
Brazosport News, April 1, 2005
Brazosport News, April 13, 2005
Brazosport News, April 21, 2005