Friday, October 26, 2007

If you turn vegetarian, this woman might make love to you

Now there aren't any guarantees, mind you.

But let's say you bumped into her at a cocktail party, and you happened to mention that you knew of the greatest steakhouse in the world where you would love to buy her a 30-oz. Porterhouse, cooked bloody, just like you like it.

Your chances with this Austrialian pop sensation, pictured here in the latest ad from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, would suddenly drop to zero.

But if you happened to mention that food with an ass or face never passes your lips, and that there's nothing more satisfying than a gigantic green salad spinkled with tofu, then you might have a chance in hell. It'd be slight chance, but there still might be a chance that she'd have dinner with you. And then, after that, who knows what might happen?


Anonymous said...

Sounds better if you rewrite: "If you go Vegetarian, this woman might Fuck you." Banjo, you're not mainstream press. let it hang!

Anonymous said...

I bet them peppers would make your ass burn, if you rolled around on them very much.

So if she were to acquiesce, I would suggest another location, before the festivities begat.


Anonymous said...

But you can see her fricking ribs, like a fricking Eastern European starving porn model. Eat some meat and fat, for Pete's sake, honey! Then, maybe I'll think about it.