Judge weeps, awards Anna's body to 5 month-old daughter; CALL HEF!!!!

To use some crude legal slang you sometimes hear in the corridors of our judiciary, the judge in Broward County, Fla., "split the baby."

He gave custody of Anna Nicole Smith's corpse to the woman's infant daughter, who's in the Bahamas, and left it up to the child's attorney ad-litem to work out an agreement regarding where to bury the deceased sex symbol.

Shortly thereafter, they agreed to bury her in the Bahamas, where her beloved son Daniel is buried following his drug overdose death last September.

In working out the burial agreement, the attorney had to deal with Anna's Mom, Anna's spurned lover (the presumptive birth father of the 5-month-old tot) and Anna's "companion" and attorney, the creepy Howard K. Stern.

It may not be over, though. One of the attorneys for Anna's mom said they're gonna appeal all of this, since he thinks Anna's mama, Virgie Arthur, should have been granted custody of her daughter's remains, since she's the closest blood kin of adult age.


The judge, Larry Seidlin, wept on the bench while making his ruling. The poor fellow obviously was under a lot of duress, but we think he really cared about doing he right thing. We hope he has access to some type of "calm down" medication.

As Texans, we'd have liked Anna brought back to Texas, but we say that from a selfish, Lone Star State-biased point of view.

But here's another idea that evidently no one thought about.

They shoulda called Hugh Hefner (pictured above), properietor of the Playboy Empire, which more or less put Anna Nicole Smith on the celebrity map.


He could have been asked to please dispatch the Playboy Jet to Florida and fly Anna back to California, where he happens to own the burial plot next to the late Marilyn Monroe (pictured right), who was Anna's idol and who graced the very first gatefold pictorial of the monthly gentleman's magazine.

Anna had even expressed a desire to be buried next to Monroe, but that was well before she expressed a desire to be buried next to her son after his death.

But being buried next to Marilyn woulda been pretty cool. I'd just as soon be cremated cause, ya know, the body is just the house in which you briefly reside before you go the next dimension, which we can't see with the naked eye. Whatever. What's done is done. Unless the appeals court jumps in.

We, like the judge, are emotionally exhausted right now, and plan to take the rest of the afternoon off.

Thanks for reading.