Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thanksgiving disasters and an economics lesson

We were driving to a Marie Callender's restaurant this morning to pick up some Thanksgiving treats and the topic on Glenn Beck's radio show was "Thanksgiving disasters."

The host, somebody named "Mac" who was subbing for Glenn, had a quite a tale about his hard-drinking grandma's false teeth popping out when she sneezed, just as everyone sat down to eat. The womena's dentures landed right in the souccatash. She proceeded to take them out, lick off the food and invited everyone to "dig in" to the feast, including the souccatash.

Some of the callers had equally hilarious -- or just plain weird -- stories.

One woman got stuck in a corner talking to the one relative no one else could stand. The shunned relative could only talk about all the possible diseases one could contract from eating turkey. She went on and on, and on and on, until dinner finally was served, thus sparing her from the depressing monologue of the dreary relative. The caller said that the day, Thanksgiving, happened to be her 30th birthday. And no one remembered.

A guy called in to reminisce about the time he was invited by a close friend to a Thanksgiving dinner for 10. Just before eatin time, everyone had gathered for cocktails out on the patio, where they enjoyed a view of the city. Then they went inside to eat, only to find the host's Great Dane -- "the size of a pony" -- splayed out in the middle of the dinner table, where he had consumed every piece of food on the table. "Even the lettuce...Even the turkey bones." They went out for Chinese.

Another caller told about the beautiful Thanksgiving turkey being ceremoniously brought in on a big platter before all the assembled guests, and the host suddenly slipping on an area rug and dropped the big bird on the floor.

We had to leave the radio show when we got to Marie Callender's. A crowd already was gathering and it was only 10:30 in the a.m. We got a lemon meringue pie, some cornbread, some mashed potatoes and some gravy. While waiting to pay we heard customers asking which pies were still available. So we got there just in time.

Just about then, a guy brings out a stepladder and climbs up to make some changes to the menu that was posted on the wall behind the counter. He started flipping labels to say they were "sold out" of several different pies; then he started flipping other labels to show an immediate price increase for pies that were still available.

Suddenly, before our very eyes, these pies went from $8.99 apiece to $12.99.

"I've seen that at a gas station but never anywhere else," muttered a guy in line, who unfortunately had not yet ordered his pie.

This hardly qualifies as a Thanksgiving disaster, but it's the best we can do at the moment. We'll just call it a holiday lesson in marketplace economics.

Have a good one, ya'll.


JD Allen said...

I know you didn't ask for it, but:

I decided a few years ago to fry a turkey. Using my usual technique, I made damn sure it was cooked - there were about two bites of turkey on the finished bird. I think we ate tamales, instead.

Which, come to think of it, ain't a bad idea at all.

Banjo Jones said...

yeah, JD, i was trying to think of my own T-Day "disaster" and the best I could do was the time my brother and I were both drunk and got in a fight in the front yard and the cops came. No one was arrested. But it really wasn't all that interesting and I didn't want to be negative on the day before Thanksgiving, so I didn't include it in the blog post.

Dirk van de broek said...

Nice reading your blog, i have it bookmarked