"Top Ten Things On Kim Jong-Il's To-Do List"

(as submitted by Letterman viewers)

10. Legally change name to L'il Kim Jong-Il to get some street cred
- Donnie R., Jamestown, NC

9. Use nuclear energy to build a device to see through the briefcases on "Deal Or No Deal"
- Roger V., Sacramento, CA

8. Renew subscription to Martha Stewart Living
- Matt H., Marietta, GA

7. Grow tall enough to ride the roller coaster at Disneyland
- Marlee O., Vancouver, BC

6. Calculate distance from North Korea to Letterman's dressing room
- Dave S., Albuquerque, NM

5. Piss off rest of world--oh wait, did that. Fix loose door handle.
- Keith E., Collegeville

4. Kill barber that told him "All the maniacal leaders are cutting their hair this way"
- Keith D., Atlanta, GA

3. Try to launch his Taepodong into Paris Hilton
- Matt C., Huntsville, AL

2. See doctor about that nagging "missile blows up before it reaches target" problem
- Kurt V., Poynette, WI

1. Start digging that spider hole
- Joseph L., Palos Heights, IL
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