Top 10 ways to make soccer more exciting

10. Instead of players trading shirts after the game, swap wives.
Tejinder G., Montreal, Canada

9. Replace sideline Gatorade with vodka and tonic
Shane M., Tauranga, New Zealand

8. Monkey referees
Michael H., Elgin, IL

7. New slogan: "At least it's not hockey!"
Bill B., Springfield, MO

6. No pants, more balls!
Bill P., Woodinville, WA

5. With hidden landmines, "sudden death" is no longer just in overtime
Patrick E., Victoria, Canada

4. Oh, I don't know, maybe have some games where the score is not zero to zero?
John K., Long Beach, CA

3. You win a game, Angelina adopts a baby from your country
Babs B., Lynnfield, MA

2. Give Dick Cheney some beer, a shotgun, and put him in at goalkeeper
Vince D., Polson, MT

1. 11 players, 10 uniforms
Keith G., Phoenix, AZ

(as submitted by David Letterman viewers)
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