Monday, April 03, 2006

Top 10 Ways Barry Bonds Can Improve His Image

(as submitted by Letterman viewers)

10. Crack the DaVinci code with his brute strength
Todd R., Scottsdale, AZ

9. Seal up hole in ozone layer with his enormous ego
Scott S., Mt. Pleasant, SC

8. Rent his head out as Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon
Jack S., Fort Wayne, IN

7. Start injecting teammates with refreshing Smoothies
Steve B., Noblesville, IN

6. Two words: autographed syringes
Patrick W., Saint, Albans

5. Grow his head big enough to block out sun for patrons sitting in left field
John D., Latrobe, PA

4. Claim he did all those steroids because Gretzky's wife bet him he couldn't
Daniel P., North Reading, MA

3. Hang out with Phil Spector and Robert Blake, so he'll be known as the "good guy" of the bunch
Ed S., New Milford, NJ

2. Shoot his best friend and apologize on TV
Bobby S., Kissimmee

1. Bunt
Steve M., Los Angeles, CA


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