Saturday, April 01, 2006

New chairman o' the bored

Seekers of hidden messages who happen to be shareholders of the Dow Chemical Co. are wondering if there's any significance to the timing today of a new man taking the helm of the Dow mothership.

The portraits on the walls of every Dow office are being changed because
as of today, Andrew Liveris replaces William S. Stavropoulos as Dow Chairman of the Board.

Today is April 1.
April Fool's Day.


Today also is the start of the new quarter. That happens every three months. If you divide the year into fourths. For accounting purposes and such as that.

The weather's been weird lately.

There are wars and rumors of war. The other day, in the grocery store, tangerines cost 48 cents. Per tangerine.

Moreover, it's the day before Major League Baseball season starts.

The dogs have been barking like crazy today. At least, they sound like dogs. What are they trying to say? Passing the word that Andrew Liveris is replacing William S. Stavropoulos? That a new day has dawned? That Dow just had its most profitable year ever, with $46.3 billion in $ale$? Or that George Mason finally has lost in the NCAA semi-finals?

The new Dow chairman is from Australia. That can't be all bad. Can it? They like us, right? Shrimp on the barbie and all that it may entail? Good times for all? Oversized cans of Foster in every fridge? An emissions event in every pot? Nicole Kidman and Crocodile Dundee, sending telepathic messages that if we all just keep our hard hats on, click our heels and keep our eyes trained on the whirling gauges, all of us, from Bhopal to Brazosport, will be on the cusp of living, improved daily?

[dow to cut 350 w. va. jobs]

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