I had a haircut today

I had very specific instructions, which I committed to memory so I could relate them to to the hair cutter verbatim.

"Make it the same length on the side as on the top. And she said to make me look like Paul Newman."

The haircutter looked at me and said, "I'm a beautician, not a magician...Tell her go rent a video."

It was a pretty good line and I chuckled.

When she leaned down close to me, I could smell gin on her breath.

I don't make this stuff up.