Talk radio slap fight

Dan Patrick, the fellow you see pictured above, once painted his face blue when he was the sports anchor on KHOU-TV. Now, in his capacity as station boss at KSEV-AM, he may have done something even dumber than that -- he's called out KTRH-AM talk radio host Chris Baker.

Patrick ridiculed Baker (after, of course, delivering a compliment) in the Lone Star Times, his blog vehicle.[Lone Star Times]

He ... goes after a younger audience. Neither Baker, nor KTRH or KPRC are involved in putting armor on Humvees, raising money for handicapped children, joining the property tax fight or overturning the rain tax. That doesn’t make them a bad station or him a bad person; at KSEV, we just think there are more important things to do than yuck it up about pop culture trivia.

The focus of Patrick's column isn't Baker. It's his explanation about why KSEV is sucking wind in the Houston talk radio race. Patrick says the reasons are many.

1. KSEV doesn't have a powerful signal and thus loses many listeners after the sun sets in the west (we in Brazosport can't hear it worth a flip during the day, much less at night.)

2. Quarterly radio ratings fluctuate so wildly that the data isn't reliable.

3. He doesn't really care about ratings (or $) anyway cause he's on a mission from God (even though KSEV is a "secular" radio station).

4. But, oh, by the way, his ratings are still mighty strong at certain times of the day, especially when he's on the microphone. (Do you care about ratings or not, Dan-O?)

Kevin Whited at BlogHouston brought Patrick's views on radio ratings to our attention, wondering along the way why the LST removed previously posted links to the blog reportage on the latest radio ratings.[BlogHouston]

I'm not sure who I'd put my money on in a slap fight between Chris Baker and Dan Patrick. Baker, whom I've never met, sometimes talks about being fat on his radio show, so he may not last more than a minute or two before having to sit down.

On the other hand, Patrick probably would feel a duty to turn the other cheek once Baker delivered the first open-handed slap across the face. And once he did that, Baker could slap him across the other cheek.

Advantage: Baker.

Another strategy Baker could employ is in the psychological arena. At the weigh-in before the slap fight, he could pepper Patrick with a flood of pop culture trivia.

"Betcha don't even know who the drummer in The Who was, do ya Dan? What about the so-called fifth Beatle? What was his name? What about the name of Beaver Cleaver's dog, Dan? C'mon, you like dogs doncha? What was the name of Beav's dog? HA! Beaver didn't have a dog, you nincompoop!"

Baker could really get under the KSEV honcho's skin and shake him up, forcing him to lose his focus.

Patrick, struggling to recover, could quote Scripture at Baker, pull out his pocket Bible and shake it at him, and tell him that being fat is un-Godly.

Advantage, again, I think, goes to Baker who, as a former comedian, could probably just laugh off that tactic with some quippy one-liners.

That's enough for me. I'm betting on Baker.

Chris Baker, KTRH radio host.