Friday, January 28, 2005

Red Chinese in flamboyant attire Invade

The Great Circus of China is giving away free tickets to their two performances on Saturday at the Angleton fairgrounds, and on Sunday in Lake Jackson at the civic center.

That's a sweet deal any way you slice it.

It's explained on the tickets that are available most anywhere. We got ours at LJ's fabulous Wag-A-Bag #2, one of Brazosport's finest convenience stores.

The ticket says "Your entire Family Ticket Totally Free! Value $54. Admits 2 adults/2 kids under 14."

I know the Red Chinese are communists and all, but it seems like maybe they oughta charge a little something for coming all the way to Brazoria County, Texas. Ah, but then I looked closer at the tickets. At the bottom is says, "$7.00 Service Charge Per Adult."

Are these Red Chinese trying to pull a fast one on us hayseeds? Saying it's free, then coming up with the service charge? Is this a violation of the World Trade Organization's Code of Ethics? Is that what granting them favored trade nation status gets us?

Well, 14 bucks for two adults to see a circus doesn't seem like price gouging on its face. After all, this circus comes "From Behind The Great Wall," according to one of their posters at Discount Carpets in Angleton, and that's a long trip, according to the Atlas.

Cirque de Soleil is charging 70 bucks per ducat for upper level seats in Houston, and they didn't even have to come here from behind The Great Wall. Their biggest obstacle is dealing with the American tradition of not allowing dogs into restaurants.

Security for the Red Chinese is bound to be tight. Not from our lawmen, but by the Red Chinese Secret Security Police who are accompanying the circus performers.

Heaven knows that many of those Red circus performers would love to defect right here and now and disappear into Brazoria County, giving up the vagabond circus life to become plant operators, pipefitters, backhoe operators, cowhands, prison guards, bait camp operators, rice farmers or any number of the other capitalist free world occupations that give us the lifestyle and culture and standard of living that we enjoy here on the Petrochemical Coast.

Haven't heard any scuttlebutt on the police scanner yet about defections, but at least some of those acrobats (if the Red Chinese circus has them), animals trainers, trapeze artists, clowns (if they have them) and elephant dung shovelers are bound to be tempted to ask for asylum.

If something comes over the scanner, I'll post again.

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