Upstart Newspaper to Hit Angleton

Rigor mortis had barely set in on the corpse of the Angleton Times before plans for a new publication were set into motion.

The Times, 109 years old when it finally croaked, was shut down by Southern Newspapers, its corporate master, which decided that it simply didn't make financial sense anymore.

Southern Newspapers figures the Clute daily can keep the county seat covered.

The twice-weekly paper's circulation had dwindled to a pathetic 1,000 or so subscribers by the time the bean counters at Southern pulled the plug.

The working title of Angleton's new publication is "The Angleton Observer." It plans to launch the first week of May and has one advertiser on board, says Micheal Boddy, the editor.

Boddy has been around the block. We knew him back in his salad days when he was a photographer at The Houston Post, another newspaper that died a slow, agonizing death. He was a photographer at The Facts for awhile and most recently has been writing stories for the Chronicle's Brazoria County edition.

The principal owner of the new paper is Eric Riley, owner of Safi Grafix and Firefly Productions, Boddy said. The newspaper will have its office at Safi Grafix, 115-A East Mulberry.

" The Observer will be a traditional newspaper with real news, sports, and features about Angleton in it," Boddy said.
"We plan to deliver the first two editions to every household in Angleton. After that we'll be taking subscriptions for home delivery and will be available at participating businesses for 50 cents a copy," Boddy said.

"Anyone interested in subscribing, or purchasing an advertisement, should call us at 979-848-1497. Classified ads of four lines or less will be free to residents of Angleton, on a space available, first come, first served basis, for the first two editions. Any resident of Angleton who subscribes before the first edition hits the driveways can get up to a year for half price. Early subscribes will be eligible for a drawing for 10 free lifetime subscriptions."

The Brazosport News wishes Boddy and Riley well. Angleton deserves its own newspaper.

We don't know Riley, but Boddy has a nose for news. He knows where all the skeletons are. We just hope he has the backbone to lay it all out there in print.

Expect the Clute daily the pay extra special attention to Angleton news in the coming weeks to curry favor with residents of the county seat. There will be feature stories on Angleton residents who are engaged in interesting hobbies, a takeout on Angleton city finances and maybe, if we're real lucky, one of those interesting Kelly Hawes columns with an Angleton angle.

But do not be fooled. Angleton needs its own paper run by people who live in and pay taxes in Angleton -- people who are intimiately familiar with its problems and challenges, failures and successes. If you live and work in Clute, you don't really care that much.

Politickin' at the Sheriff's Office

How can anyone compare the soliciting of sheriff's department employees to sign pledges supporting de facto incumbent Charlie Wagner to the placement of petitions at the tax office supporting a change in the speed limit?

It's ridiculous on its face.

The intercoms at the jail don't work and too many sheriff's employees can't figure out how to operate the county's new fangled computer system.

Your tax dollars at work.

The story in the local paper should convince any fence-sitters who they should support on April 13.

"A Beer Before It Starts"

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV,
and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he
said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked
a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your
fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around
like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron
all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started."

today's joke:

A Waco man, who'd had a little too much to drink, staggers into a Catholic Church where he enters a confessional booth and sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the sot just sits there.
So the Priest pounds three times on the side of the divide, but the drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin', there's no paper on this side either!"

The Sheriff's Race

It was a drearily civilized race for the Republican nomination for Brazoria County Sheriff.

Voters are trekking to the polls now. What we've always wondered is, why do voters "trek"? Are they wearing hiking boots and backpacks? Are they leading pack mules? We do not know.

We asked a Knowledgeable Source yesterday who would get in the runoff. The Source, a native Brazosportian, merely expressed hope that the de facto incumbent, Charles Wagner, would not.

Wagner, chief deputy to the soon-to-be-retired high sheriff for many years, has told the local paper he's always dreamed of being sheriff. It's good to have goals, we believe.

But in the minds of many, the sheriff's department could use a change in management.

Here's an example of why, as explained by our friend.

The county has this fancy new computer system. Anybody can log in and look up all sorts of court records that heretofore required a drive to the county seat in Angleton, a long haul if you live in Pearland, Damon or River's End.

The fancy new computer system, of course, is tied into the sheriff's department, so it can, among other things, convey vital information regarding who's wanted for arrest and who's not wanted for arrest.

Well, there's the rub.

A number of sheriff's employees can't figure it out. They still want certain records faxed over to the jail, located several miles away from the courthouse out in the middle of nowhere. Certain officials in Angleton don't want to fax those records and have, in fact, ordered them NOT to be faxed.

Why in the Sam Hill do we have this new computer system if we're gonna keep having to fax this stuff over to ya'll?

So why doesn't the sheriff's department train the troops in how to use the fancy new computer system?

"We think they just want to keep them dumb, so they don't know what's going on," said The Source.

That rationale sounds a bit hyperbolic.

You know, learning computers can be hard. That's why that bald guy is on TV all the time offering those CDs to people who can't figure out how to turn on their hard drives.

So why should anyone care that, allegedly, some employees at the sheriff's deparment aren't computer savvy?

Because, said the source, there have been instances when criminal "suspects" are sitting in jail long after the charges against them have been dismissed! Moreover, some "suspects" have been arrested when the cases against them have been dropped.

So, there seems to be a failure to communicate here -- namely between the courthouse in Angleton and the sheriff's department/jail that is out in the middle of nowhere.

That's why the failure to communicate via the county's fancy new computer system is important. People who no longer are supposed to be arrested are still under arrest.

What's all this mean?

Hard to say.

As noted earlier, the sheriff's race was pretty tame, at least in the public arena, ie., the local paper.

Beyond a couple candidates (who AREN'T expected to make the runoff) complaining about "cronyism" and a "good ol' boy" system being a problem in the S.O., everyone kept a civil tongue.

Far as we know, none of the candidates complained about citizens being incarcerated and/or arrested without cause.

That's too bad.

Maybe in the runoff, when the voters trek back to the polls.

memo to Brazoria County: Hire A Security Guard At The Airport

Link

From California: Arnold Humor

NEW 2004 STATE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK BY "ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER"


DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.

After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our great state. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
THE GOVERNATOR