Monday, December 20, 2004

Festivus: Its time has come

It's Dec. 20, soon to be Dec. 21. There is no Christmas tree here at The B'Port News. Nor will there be, if our minds remain strong. There are no presents under the tree, as there is no tree, and the buying of presents would, at this late date, require shopping.

Across the street, Frosty the Snowman is holding court, surrounded by a sea of multi-colored lights. Next door, a front yard of blazing red candy canes delights all. Across the street from that house is a waving Santa, and another Frosty, and some wise men, it appears. Yet another house has a crucifix, about 6, 7 feet tall, and an empty manger, and a spotlight.

Cars turn off the major cross street to take it all in. They slow down to take a gander. Oooh-Ah. They come to our house and speed up. We try to keep the curtains drawn. With the porch light off, perhaps our street address will not be visible, and they will be unable to ascertain our identities and report us to the holiday police.

But all is not lost. There is still Festivus.

It's catching on, it says here.

An "airing of grievances"? Yes!
Feats of strength? Indeed.
Accusing others of being a disappointment? Of course they are! It's best that they know, now, before the New Year, so they may begin making amends.

No tinsel. Of course not!
No tree, just a bare aluminum pole. Perfect.

"Infused as Festivus is with so much potential meaning, it is not far-fetched to imagine it as a permanent part of the American holiday firmament, said Anthony F. Aveni, a professor of astronomy and anthropology at Colgate and the author of "The Book of the Year: A Brief History of Our Seasonal Holidays."

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