For $50, you now can get married in a Houston dance hall

There's a new business in Houston designed for the get-married-quick crowd, we read here in The River Oaks Examiner.

Channel 39 already has jumped on the story (see embedded viddy), choosing to focus on the really quick, spur-of-the moment, let's-fuckin'-do-it, walk-up marriage crowd. Those ceremonies all take place at the West Wind Club, conveniently located off Hwy 290 between the Sam Houston Tollway and The Loop, for only 50 bucks. There's a bar there.

The downside of that option, apparently, is that the preacher on call wears a big black cowboy hat.

And forget a sunrise ceremony. You can only do the walk-up, super quickie marriage between the hours of 4 p.m. and 1 a.m. There could be a whiff of stale beer in the air, too, though we're not sure.

 

If you want to avoid the ambience of a dance hall, there are any number of other options available by getting married via getmarriedinhouston.com.

You pick the place, time, etc.

There's no getmarriedinouston.com wedding chapel per se, all the better to contain overhead costs and give you, the marital consumer, the best possible product for you hard-earned dollars.

It looks like all the non-quickie marriage options entail dealing, at one time or another, with Paul House (as opposed to the preacher on call at the dance hall, who may be wearing a large black cowboy hat.)

Paul, we are told, was "reared" in a Christian home, and his

"biblical exploration led him to break down passages into individual word studies drilling down to the root languages of the Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic. Throughout this detailed analysis of God’s Word, it revealed the simplistic and overlying principle of God’s Word…… God is Love!

"Paul’s personable demeanor naturally puts others at ease and makes him very approachable. He makes no pretense of being perfect or above others as clergy, but rather encourages people to look towards God’s Word to discover the simple truth that God loves each and every one of us.

"As a wedding minister, Paul has a gentle style and smoothly improvises when things do not go exactly as planned. He tells couples to not worry during the ceremony, but to relax and he will subtly give cues and direction as needed throughout the ceremony. "

If you write you own vows, Paul advises that you "keep it short."

Also, it costs more than $50 to get married via the non-quickie method, but I'll be damned if I could find anywhere on the getmarriedinhoustondotcom Web site exactly how much, although the downpayment required is a hundred bills.

No worries, though. We're sure the cost is reasonable. And look at what you're getting -- a lifetime of happiness.