Taken down on Craigslist (NY)

(via the business blog Dealbreaker.com.)

the invitation

Paris Anyone???? - m4w - 28 (Greenwich )

Reply to: pers-688644336@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-20, 7:02PM EDT


Well, where do I start? I was supposed to be going to Paris with my girlfriend for memorial day weekend, but I caught her cheating on me and now the trip's obviously off. I'm still going, and am looking for some company. So, if you want an all expenses trip to Paris from Friday - Tues, contact me.

I'm a 28 year old hedge fund guy, living in Greenwich. I'm smart, well-educated, attractive, adventerous, and love to have a good time (bow-chicka-wow-wow). So, send me an email (with pic) if you're interested and tell me a little bit about yourself, and maybe we can meet for a drink and spend the weekend in Paris.

the takedown

Paris?? Anyone? Anyone? - m4w - 28 (Greenwich)

Reply to: pers-691954518@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-23, 10:05AM EDT


There's an extra Paris ticket with your name on it. Originally, I bought it for my ex-girlfriend. Why? Because I'm an idiot. You see, I'm still at that stage in my life where I burn money in hopes of attracting and then retaining a girlfriend. Is there any other way??

What ends up happening? She cheats on me. I sometimes wonder why I always catch my girlfriend in the act. By design?? Nah. That would mean she’s tired of me and wants to underscore the point that credit cards, dinners out, and trips to Paris aren't the secrets to a great relationship. Paris is romantic. I know this. I’m smart and well educated. A trip will make up for all my faults and build significant relationship equity. I know about equity. After all, I work at a HF.

Simply put: I am a wuss. A chump. Sans-manliness. My ex developed an acute case of boredom. She says I started to get "weird". I don't know what this means. But hey, I'm smart. Just look at my paycheck. Case closed. I work at a HF.

Maybe the "I work at a HF" line is wearing thin. I guess I have to find something else to offer the ladies?? Nah. My process works. Women love the "HF" line, just like the "I work at a dot-com" approach in the 90's. Bullet-Proof. I am not a lemming. Right?? Impossible. I am unique. Remember, I work at a HF.

A little more about myself:
On Friday's I don't wear socks because all the other guys are doing it. Ever notice how I wear my Hermes ties so you can see the tag? That's by design. Women love that. I have a secret stash of magazines: Details, GQ, MensHealth, TraderMonthly, Esquire, YM, and Cigar Aficionado. I love being valued for my ability to "pick up the check".

I'm funny. I use witty lines like, "bow-chicka-wow-wow". Nobody uses that one. Ever. It's new and fresh out of the box, just like the sarcasm used on Friends. I have don't have a savings account. I have 3 other roommates. Remember, I work at a HF.

I'm well educated. Did I mention that the tickets are business class and not coach? Details, details man. Women dig it. I know this. I am smart.

So, I'm trying to find a companion for my trip to Paris. Remember: All expense will be paid, because that's important to a quality woman. Why else would someone reply to this post? I am a great catch. I work for a HF.