Top 10 signs you're too fat

10. You shop at Abercrombie & Fat

9. Your doctor said your weight is within normal limits for a caribou

8. You belong to "Hot Pockets Anonymous"

7. It's hard to tell where you stop and the couch begins

6. Each month you pay rent, cable, and the crane operator who lifts you out of your car

5. When you order a salad, CNN runs a special report

4. You got married just for the giant cake

3. All your clothing is specially designed by the Army Corps of Engineers

2. President Bush is thinking of dropping you on Iran

1. People keep mistaking you for Al Gore

(courtesy, Late Show With David Letterman home office, Wahoo, Neb.)