Oklahoma diary

(Editor's note: Some friends in New York City who heard we're spending some time this summer in Oklahma emailed the following to this, which was sent to them by a friend who recently moved to the Sooner state. We hear it's raining quite a bit in the Greater Brazoria County Metro Area. We only hope the bats in Lake Jackson are staying high and dry...B.Jones)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Just moved to Oklahoma ! Now this is a
> state that knows how to live!!
>
> Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
> evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I
> love it here.
>
> June 14th:
>
> Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not
> a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned
> car.
>
>
>
> What a pleasure to see the sun everyday
> like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
>
> June 30th:
>
> Had the backyard landscaped with western
> plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No
> more mowing the lawn for me.
>
> Another scorcher today, but I love it
> here.
>
> July 10th:
>
> The temperature hasn't been below 100
> all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat?
>
>
>
> At least, it's kind of windy though. But
> getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
>
> July 15th:
>
> Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got
> 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a
> dumb thing to do.
>
>
>
> I learned my lesson though. Got to
> respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
>
> July 20th:
>
> I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into
> the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at
> noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then
> popped like a water balloon.
>
> The car now smells like Kibbles and
> $hits.
>
>
>
> I learned my lesson though. No more
> pets in this heat.
>
>
>
> Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
>
>
>
> July 25th:
>
> The wind sucks. It feels like a giant
> freaking blow dryer!!
>
>
>
> And it's hot as hell. The home
> air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just
> to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
>
> July 30th:
>
> Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3
> nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the
> lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
>
>
> Aug. 4th:
>
> It's 115 degrees. Finally got the
> air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down
> to 85. I hate this stupid state.
>
> Aug. 8th:
>
> If another wise a$$ cracks, 'Hot enough
> for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. D@mn heat. By the time I get
> to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
> smell like baked cat!!
>
> Aug. 9th:
>
> Tried to run some errands after work.
> Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my a$$
> was on fire.
>
>
>
> My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2
> layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and a$$ . . .
> Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried a$$, and baked cat.
>
> Aug 10th:
>
> The weather report might as well be a
> d@mn recording. Hot and sunny.
>
> Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been
> too hot to do $hit for 2 d@mn months and the weatherman says it might
> really warm up next week.
>
>
>
> Doesn't it ever rain in this d@mn state?
> Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry
> up and blow over.
>
>
>
> Even the cactus can't live in this d@mn
> heat.
>
> Aug. 14th:
>
> Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115
> today. Cactus are dead.
>
> Forgot to crack the window and blew the
> d@mn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess
> what he asked me??? Hot enough for you today?"
>
> My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me
> out of jail. Freaking Oklahoma .
>
> What kind of a sick demented idiot would
> want to live here??
>
> Will write later to let you know how the
> trial goes.