Thursday, July 27, 2006

Just saying yes to dildoes in Brazoria County

Something happens when writers are freed from the bonds of the dead tree medium and step into the digital age.

Their consciousness is expanded. They become smarter and livelier. They are afraid no longer, and their fingers literally dance across the keyboard as they whistle while the work.

The Weekly Journal, the new on-line newspaper that covers Angelton, Danbury and Rosharon, proves this theory of ours to be true.

TWJ replaces the short-lived Angleton Observer, a free weekly that used ink and paper (as well as a Website).

The Angleton Observer was OK, but pretty standard fare as small-town weeklies go, but it most certainly had a place in the community, especially after Southern Newspaper pulled the plug on The Angleton Times.

Nevertheless, The Angleton Observer didn't make it. Something about cash flow problems.

Enter The Weekly Journal, which just got off the ground.

Columnist Susan Bardwell, who recently resigned from The Houston Chronicle, obviously feels a certain sense of liberation in going totally digital.

In her latest column, she chastizes the Brazoria County Sheriff's Department for stationing an officer outside a new "adult boutique" store with a camcorder, which the High Sheriff said was designed to catch registered sex offenders violating their probation.

This occurred at a sort of grand opening party at the dildo and plastic vagina emporium.

Now there's a plot worthy of The Andy Griffith Show, right? Can't you see Deputy Barney Fife wielding a camcorder outside a new adult boutique store that just opened in Mayberry?

Anyway, after living three decades in Brazoria County, Bardwell suggests we all just grow up. She .writes:

This is not the only act of ham-handed pseudo-law “enforcement” by the sheriff’s department. I recently spoke to a club owner whose plans for a bikini contest was quashed soon after being advertised, by a visits from a sheriff’s deputy expressed concern that such an event might violate the state’s obscenity law.
A bikini contest, for crying out loud. The state’s obscenity law hinges on what is deemed obscene by a community. Did the deputy believe we have never been to the beaches here? That we don’t have Dish TV? That we lack Internet access? What are they protecting us from?
Growing up?

Huzzah, Ms. Bardwell. We will be reading The Weekly Journal on a, well, a weekly basis from here on out.


Anonymous said...

If this is the style of writing The Weekly Journal plans to offer its readers, well, there goes the Journalism Neighborhood.

She writes "plans," which is plural, and then uses the singular verb "was." She writes "visits" when she means "visit." this Bardwell is no bard, or, better yet, perhaps this is all "Kinky Newspapering; you know, laughs, like Banjo's outlook on Life.

Guess I'll stick to The New Yorker for proper grammar.

Banjo Jones said...

sourpuss :(

Swearengen said...

Grammar Schmammar... (ppfffttt)

I loved the article and didn't notice any errors until Anonymous pointed them out.

This quote from her article made me spit beer all over the keyboard:

"Sheriff Charles Wagner explained to The Facts that the deputy was on the outlook for sex offenders.

Since the deputy was sent there for the grand opening, and since invitations to the grand opening were mailed to community leaders, I have to assume that Wagner believes some of the area mayors, council members, and business people, or perhaps some of his fellow county officials, are sex offenders."

The actions of the BCSD may have been typical in Vidor Texas ten years ago, but the citizens of Brazoria County should be appalled at the obvious disregard for our constitutional rights.

This sherrif is no different from the ones before him. I think we should elect JD to the office of Sheriff and let him sort it out!

JD Allen said...

Bardwell worked " a dance hall in Surfside..."? Was there one, or two? Seems like there was one next to Pat's, you had country at Pats and rock at the other, something like that.

I put them on my Favorites list, might even favor them with an opinion some time, if they act right.

Bill said...

Maybe I can use this for Sheriff Rhodes.