Friday, March 10, 2006

Cowboys wear pantyhose, too

If the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo has inspired any of you to start riding a horse, you may have become acquainted with one of the more unpleasant effects of mounting up.

I'm talkin' 'bout saddle sores.

Here's what you do about it: put on some pantyhose.

Even if you're a guy. Just put put 'em on in the privacy of your pickup and don't tell anyone about it (if it embarrasses you.)

This will go a long way toward alleviating the chafing, skin ulcerations, sore ass and other negatory effects of horse-riding.

If you're not believin' me, ask Jessica Jahiel, who says, "A lot of working cowboys will tell you that pantyhose are a real boon to riders - on a long trail ride, they can make the difference between comfort and misery."

There's a reason why those annoying bicyclists on the road wear those tight-fitting, Spandex-lookin' "bicycle shorts," and it's not to advertise their wares.

It's to ward off saddle sores.

In the age of "Brokeback Mountain," cowboys putting on a pair of pantyhose underneath those Wranglers really shouldn't be all that big a deal. Free your mind, cowpoke.

Who knows. It may end up pleasing the cowgirl in your life. Or the cowboy. You never know.

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