"Release the smart pigs!"

Dow Chemical, in its continuing efforts to protect the environment, intentionally released 194 lbs. of nitric oxide and 194 lbs. of nitric dioxide a couple days ago from one of its pipelines.

This was done as a prelude to setting "pig traps" so that "smart pigs" can inspect the line for leaks and such as that.

"Smart pigs" are feral hogs that are captured in and around Brazoria County when they are piglets, then raised and trained in Dow laboratories to sniff out Volatile Organic Compounds that may leak and blow everyone to kingdom come. Each pig is fed a special high-protein diet that is fortified with vitamins and hormones to sharpen its Volatile Organize Compound-sniffing skills and each is dressed in white mesh jerseys featuring the Dow logo so that local hunters do not shoot them. There is speculation in the petrochemical industry that the pigs may be of possible use to the military in the war on terrorism. (If you believe any of the previous 3 sentences, don't bother reading this about "smart pigs.")
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