Saturday, January 08, 2005

Gentlemen, start the recriminations


FAQs about Carlos Beltran, the Houston Astros & Drayton McLane
1. Is it OK to make as much money as you can in your chosen profession?

Yes.

2. Will Beltran stand to make a whole lot more money in endorsement deals if he plays in New York, the media (and advertising) capital of the world, than he would in Houston?

Yes.

3. Will the Astros make the playoffs this year?

No.

4. Does Houston have only one Puerto Rican restaurant?

Yes (according to the Houston Chronicle).

5. Does New York have a bunch of Puerto Rican restaurants, and a whole lot more Puerto Ricans, than Houston?

Yes.

6. Is Carlos Beltran and his lovely wife Puerto Rican?

Yes.

6. Should we feel sorry for Astros owner Drayton McLane for failing to sign Beltran?

No, he saved himself $100M-plus.

7. Should we blame McLane for failing to sign Beltran?

Yes, if we must, since he was "personally" handling the negotiations.

8. Do you want to be a champion?

Yes.

9. Does Drayton McLane want to be a champion?

Yes, if it's within the parameters of accepted business principles, accounting practices and the immutable laws of supply & demand.

10. Is Major League Baseball conducted within accepted business principles, accounting practices and the immutable laws of supply & demand?

No.

11. If you "can't take it with you," what will happen to the (ballpark estimate) $1 billion estate that Drayton McLane leaves when he goes to meet the Lord?

Mostly likely, various family heirs, various 401C3-approved charities and Baylor University will get most of it, but that's just a guess.

12. Will Drayton McLane ever be a champion?

Not likely.

2 comments:

Cathy said...

Mr. Jones, thank you for making me smile on a dreary, Carlosless day.

Banjo Jones said...

welcome. thanks for reading.