The Unpublished Genesis

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy
lives.

Then seeing God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy
Creme Doughnuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man
said "Yea," and woman said, "and another one with sprinkles." And they
gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure that
man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
sugar from the cane, and combined them. And woman went from size 6 to size
14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side.

And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then
said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to
cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it
needed its own platter. And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.

God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those extra
pounds.

And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil
changing the channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the
flickering light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into
chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then
said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And super
size'em."

And Satan said "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.