ARNOLD!

Now More Than Ever

Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the greatest actors of our time, has officially filed to run for the governorship of the great state of California.

After submitting the requisite papers at the Los Angeles County Registrar's Office, he walked out into the bright sunshine to meet a ravenous pack of reporters and TV satellite trucks.

Then, suddenly, rival candidate Arrianna Huffington bolted out of nowhere to horn in on the Live TV pictures that were being beamed around the globe.

She knocked over the microphone stand.

She kept smiling, while someone in the crowd picked up the cluster of mikes, but had the good sense to slowly slink out of the picture.

If she didn't already figured it out, Huffington realized at that moment that her candidacy is doomed.
Nobody wanted to hear what she had to say. And when she finally did get a chance to speak, she drew boos after chastizing her opponent for driving a sports utility vehicle.

What a crowd pleaser!

Folks, Schwarzenegger has ignited a wildfire across the political landscape of our country's most populous state, which boasts the fifth largest economy in the whole friggin' world and where one-eighth of the USA's population lives.

"I will be the people's governor," said the well-muscled thespian, dressed smartly in a white, open-collar dress shirt and a blue blazer.

His wife, NBC News Personality Maria Shriver, then said her piece.

Shriver, whose uncle, U.S. President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated on Nov. 22, 1963, while riding in a motorcade through Dealy Plaza in Dallas, described her husband as a smart, honest and compassionate man who has her full heart-and-soul support.

Without saying it, Maria was telling the yellow journalism lackeys of the press that everything's cool at the Schwarzenegger swankienda in Brentwood, so lay off that storyline, we're behind him one hundred AND TEN percent!

Interestingly, Mrs. Schwarzenegger said her famous actor/husband would represent "Democrats, Republicans and Independents."

Putting the Dems at the first of that sentence sent the message that, even though the Democratic Party's leaders have gotten California into its current sorry state of affairs, and even though she's from the Dem's flagship family, there is no need for the party faithful to cower in fear.

Just come to Arnold, she said, without actually saying it.

Now, as the filing deadline approaches this afternoon, we can only wait to see if watermelon-smashing comic Gallagher follows through on his announcement that he would join the diminutive yet gifted actor Gary "Different Strokes" Coleman in the gall-dardest election we've seen since, oh, 2002, when George W. Bush was elected to the presidency.

That is all.