Baghdad Bob's Big Break

The former Iraqi information minister who became known to millions as Baghdad Bob should be talking to a lawyer.

Bob, we remind you, became an overnight sensation for his bombastic pronouncements as U.S. troops approached and eventually overran the capital city of Iraq.

His efforts will be studied for years in our nation's higher education schools of communication, where wave upon wave of young people each school year study to become public relations executives.

The goal of public relations is to make your client look good to the public no matter what the facts are. That's the bottom line.

Did Bob do this?
No.

But with the hand he was dealt, we are sympathetic to his failure. Tricky Dick Nixon's spokesman, the late Ron Ziegler, MIGHT have had a tougher job, but we doubt it.

So, while Baghdad Bob made an ass of himself before the world media and, in effect, became a human cartoon, we think he may have placed himself in a strong position to reap millions of dollars, or at least enough money to bankroll a string of kabob stands in the new, liberated, free market Iraq.

Here's what he needs to do.

Get a lawyer and grab a fair percentage of all the money that is being made by the placement of his likeness and the official pronouncements he made during the war on coffee cups, t-shirts, aprons and all sorts of other goods that are being peddled to bemused war watchers.

His legal reasoning should be simple and straight forward.

He has a right to control the use of his likeness and the use of his name just like Brad Pitt or any other celebrity.

The rich and famous go to court regularly to keep shysters from ripping off theirs names and likenesses.
The latest example is filmmaker Spike Lee, who is suing the TNN Network to prevent the TV outlet from renaming itself Spike TV. So far, the filmmaker is winning the legal battle.

Baghad Bob needs to get himself a cheap lawyer from the firm of Dewey, Cheatam and How and theaten litigation. Or, for starters, maybe he should invite one of those American JAG lawyers wandering around Iraq over for a round of mint tea and squeeze him for some free legal advice.

There's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow waiting for you, Bob.

Get a piece of the rock.

Give a percentage to some worthy, tax deductible charity in Iraq, hire somebody to ghost write your autobiography and then hit the talk show circuit -- especially Oprah. It's the American Way, Bob. Show the folks back home that you don't have to be an infidel to work the system.