Smooth Operator?

You always knew this was a company town.

But it really sinks in when the possiblity of a strike at Dow Chemical is raised.

Local businesses already are affected. And these are businesses that, on the face of it, have nothing to do with Big Chem.

Case in point: our local dentist. People are canceling their appointments right and left, our friendly teeth puller advises. The folks are saying, "To hell with shelling out good money in the war on tooth decay; we're saving our pesos for food and ammo! Gingivitis, have your way with me!"

Other merchants say business at their shops has been lousy. People are waiting to see what's gonna happen. The U.S. economy is sucking wind and now this, say the worried citizenry. Not only that, but now we're into the summer and the kids'll be lolling around the house all day, watching the MTV, griping about having nothing to do and how life in Lake Jackson and environs is the other side of midnight.

There's grumbling all over town about Charlie Singletary, biz manager of the Local Operator's Union. The union voted 2-to-1 against accepting management's last-and-best offer, but only after Charlie & Co. told the rank and file that Dow had pulled back a much more attractive offer, say our sources. Dow said it did no such thing. Then the union bigwigs in Washington got involved, and they're saying, `Sign the agreement, you morons!' So now there'll be another whole new vote on Monday.

What the hell's going on? Did Charlie lead the rank-and-file down the primrose path? If so, why? To go on strike when there's a damn recession? Does he have a death wish? Seizing the means of production and throwing off the yoke of capitalist oppression sounded good in the 1930s, but this is 2003! Hell's bells, Charlie. Wake up and smell the coffee, son. Haven't you seen the trend line of the Dow Jones Industrial Average?

OK, wait and see if a strike is called. There are union operators all over the Metropolitan Area planning RIGHT NOW to cross the picket line if a strike is called. They've got truck notes and boat notes to pay. Plus, they've got to keep the cable bill current, too, cause, after all, it's summer and the kids want their MTV cause there's not squat to do.